The dashing cop!

Once upon a time in Mumbai, actually 6th Nov 2011 at 3.40pm, I inadvertently jumped a signal. This was the Chakala and WE highway junction. It was one of those things where you are the last car and just as you cross, the signal turns amber and then red. 

So this cop stopped me and I stopped (middle class maharashtrian, mumbaikar, working professional, responsible citizen etc). Now here's what followed -

Cop - madam, license?

Me - arre sorry saheb tumhi pan bhagiltla me mudam signal nahi todla as I hand him my license.
(I am sorry, let me go. Even you know that I didn't jump the signal on purpose)

Cop - (smirking) Madam signal jumping, rash, negligent driving me tumhala kutchya hi gunhya khali pakdu shakto. (From jumping signal to rash negligent driving (I was probably at 30km/hr or lesser) I can book under anything I like). This is him showing off his nuisance value to scare me off / to try and get a bribe.

Me - saheb, negligent/ rash driving? Kay jhala te tumhi baghitla..
(Sir, rash driving? U saw exactly what happened.)

Cop - theek ae. Me fakt signal todnya cha gunha lavto. 100/ - fine bhara.
(Alright, so I will fine u only for jumping the signal. Pay 100/ - as fine)

I hand him 100 bucks and wait for the receipt there is none coming. He puts the note in the receipt book. I point at his receipt book.

Cop (angrily) - kay? (What?)

Me - receipt,

Cop - kasli? (For what?)

Me - fine chi. (For the fine)

Cop - tumhi kuthe mala fine bharli? (When did you pay me the fine?)

Me - (can't believe this is happening to me!) Kay? Me ata tar tumhala 100/ - bharle
(What? I just gave u 100 bucks)

Cop - laughs heartly like a filmi villain and then asks, tumhi 100/- note varcha number lihun ghetla? (Did u write down the number on ur 100/- note?)

Me - No!

Cop - mag tumhi mala fine dilich nahi. Bangs on my bonnet, signalling victory and says chala madam ata nigha.
(Then u never paid me the fine, come scoot off from here)

He crosses over to stand on the other side, I run after him.

Me - saheb, he barobar nahi (agitated now) ek tar mala receipt dya nahi tar majhe paise parat kara.
(Sir, that's not right. Either return my money or hand me over the receipt).

Cop - mockingly, kasli receipt?
(What receipt)

Me - saheb, tumhala receipt deylach lagel
(Sir, u have to give me d receipt).

Cop - nahi tar kay karnar tumhi? Ghya majha nav lihun ghya - Mangesh Mahadev Parthe, majha photo kadha. Kahi hi kelat tari tumhi mala haat lau shaknaar nahi. Mock laughs again.
(What will you do if I don't!? Here take my name down, Mangesh Mahadev Parthe, click my picture, do whatever u want. U won't be able to touch me).

Me - knowing its a lost battle, cross d road, go to my car and bring out my mobile phone, switch on my camera.

Cop on watching me - poses by his bike and says, ha, kadha photo.
(Cool, click my picture)

I feel super frustrated, go back to my car, strap the belt. And post the picture on twitter, it trends on that day.

Smriti Irani, politician and friend calls the DN nagar police chowki and they say swift action will be taken. They call the next day to inform that the cop is not from their chowki but belongs to the airport chowki.

I go to the mumbai traffic police website and call shri Tandlapurkar, the senior police inspector of airport chowki to tell him about the incident and email him the picture. He wants to know if I have spoken to any of his seniors, I tell him I haven't.

'Well now we are busy with VIP visit, George Bush is in town (ours Dr. Kalam just got frisked but we will thoko salaam to even their notorious ex presidents) and after that we are busy with Guru Nanak Jayanti so you call on Monday.'

I call him today, he says - ha ha karu karu madam, amhi tumhala phone karun tumchi statement gheu..
(Yes, yes madam (the yes yes sounds more like "what's the whole fuss about") we will call u later and take your statement.)

I post this on twitter, this time it doesn't trend. A week is long enough to kill our angst but I get suggestions about writing to Mumbai Mirror.

Who wins - so far our lax system has.

Who loses - so far, we the aam janta.