Champagne to Shit in Twenty Seconds

“So what do you do?” When I had a 'real' job this was an easy to answer. I find it interesting how people very often use this question in their first attempt to pigeon hole you.“I mainly work at writing,” I know my answer is nebulous but sometimes it's enough and they change the subject, or talk about what they're doing. But often the mention of writing intrigues them and they continue in their quest to categorize.
“Oh, really! What kind of writing?” They're obviously interested. I answer novels for the most part and that I've dabbled with short stories but they're not my thing. They wonder if I'm making money at it. Perhaps I'm someone interesting to know.
“So, where can I buy one of your books? Are they in bookstores?” Sometimes this is a genuine question but in this kind of conversation it is often used as a way to make me disclose if I'm actually making a living. Making money equals success. I mumble I have a few on Amazon and that I use a self publishing service. It's the truth. I can't pretend otherwise. The look on their face says it all. I tell them “I'm amazingly unsuccessful” and usually get a laugh of sorts.
I'm off the hook. They've lost interest in me and what I unsuccessfully do. The nasty ones are happy to have exposed me, while the nice ones feel badly for me - embarrassed even. I have to admit, both are hard to take.