The Problem of Careless Language & the Deconstruction of Rape Fantasies

I've been doing a lot of interviews with fellow writers on the subject of restrictions in erotic fiction.  With a few exceptions, most erotic fiction writers write about the things that turn them on. This makes sense. It's very hard to ensure that you are going to write about something you don't have fantasies about in an arousing manner.  The few erotica writers who do venture into areas of kink that are not their particular flavour tend to do it as a challenge to themselves. I admit that I have written certain pieces of, for instance, F/m FemDom – which is not generally something in my briefcase of kink – because I am interested and compelled by the dynamics of it. But I worry that behind the words, there just isn't enough heat or desire in the story. It's difficult to understand a kink that doesn't arouse you. But as erotic fiction writers, if we have any obligation at all, beyond being eloquent writers, I think it is to be extremely careful with our language when it comes to kinks that squick us. It is very easy to misrepresent, generalize, or denigrate things that don't arouse us.  I feel an [...]