Journal: Coping with the Day-to-day

I try not to write something in this journal unless I actually feel like I have something to say or at least think that I have something vaguely amusing to convey. As I'm sure I've written way too many times, I don't simply want to post something just for the sake of having posted something. I don't always succeed. In fact, I'm sure there are lots of times when I just wind-up writing random crap and factoids and assorted whatnot. This is my wonderful way of attempting to offer an apology for whatever nonsense is about to follow. The twin forces of having something to say and simply not wanting to let the journal lay fallow for long stretches at a time is limping in the direction of wanting an update. Any old freaking update will do.

The day job has been one serious motherfucker of a bitch of late, which I really don't want to get into, but I guess I'm going to write a few random words about it anyway. At least, it hasn't been just the sheer volume of work for a change. Not that it hasn't been a hell of a lot for the last two years but they've actually been good of late of not pushing too hard. I would actually be in a good spot for the day-to-day workload if I was performing at a reasonable level as opposed to the wounded, barely functional, state I've been in for the past couple of months. It's downright frightening at times. My best guess is that it is simply the compounding exhaustion that has left my crawling along and hoping that I don't completely implode leaving a big smelly mess on the floor.

I keep waiting for the immediate people I work for to point out that I've been seriously off my game of late and that it's way past time I pull myself together. Fortunately, they are good, kind people, and they've been putting up with my inability to focus on anything for more than five minutes at a stretch without complaint.