Eowyn—The coolest character in the Lord of the Rings,...

Eowyn—

The coolest character in the Lord of the Rings, possibly in any movie. She is the very definition of Absolutely Fucking Awesome (AFA). If you want to understand what nobility is, look to her.

When the Witch-King of Angmar, who is a card-carrying member of the undead and a goddamn wraith, informs her that no man can kill him, she simply points out that she is no man and up and kills him, screaming at the top of her lungs. She stabs him right in his empty fucking face and he crumples up like a beer can.

Damn, I love that part.

I've seen these movies probably 10 times and now I'm watching the extended versions. Yee haw! I love the epic themes, easily understood morality, and all the characters, good and bad. I love Eowyn best of all, though. Whenever she is on screen being the epitome of class or a motherfucking badass, I perk up and watch closely, sometimes even replaying her scenes. And later on, when I am going about my little dipshit existence doing my little dipshit things, I think to myself WHAT WOULD EOWYN DO (WWED)? How would Eowyn go about buying a gallon of milk or paying a cell phone bill?

She is my moral compass. I want to be just like her when I grow up. I want to have just one-tenth of her balls, just one-tenth of her compassion and fire.

When Aragorn asks her what she fears, she replies "A cage. To stay behind bars until use and old age accept them, and all chance of valor has gone beyond recall or desire."

I fear that, too, m'Lady. *bows head*