“It wasn’t sudden. He was born four months early. The organs...

“It wasn’t sudden.  He was born four months early.  The organs didn’t have enough time to mature.  He just wasn’t ready for life.  But he held on for more than two years.  He was such a happy child.  He laughed so hard when you rocked him.  We called him ‘Bibi,’ because his older brother couldn’t say ‘baby.’  Toward the end, he was learning to stand on his own.  We honestly thought he was going to make it.  But his immune system was just too weak from all the medication.  And his lungs were too weak from all the machines.  He couldn’t survive.  I had a hard childhood growing up.  This place makes you tough.  Nigerians and cockroaches will be the last living things on this planet.  I can remember being nine years old, and sitting down with my brothers to make a plan when we ran out of food.  Our only idea was to drink a lot of water.  So I’ve always had to be strong.  When my brother died, I couldn’t mourn.  I was the oldest in the family.  I had to hold it together and make arrangements.  But not this time.  After Bibi, I decided that I don’t ever have to be strong again.  That was my child.  I can’t button this one up.  Either I allow myself to be weak, or I’m never going to get through it.”  
(Lagos, Nigeria)