Why Self Publish?
Here’s my 100% imaginary version of what would have happened if I took my latest novel, The Trickster’s Song, to a big time publisher.
The Scene: Big Time Publisher’s office. Polished desk. Thick carpet. Smells like money. Publisher reclines in an enormous leather chain. I sit nervously in front of the desk, my manuscript held tightly against my chest.
Publisher: So, I hear you write erotica. And you’ve got, what, a cute little novella?
Me: Actually, it’s almost 100,000 words.
Publisher: Oh. But it’s a romance?
Me: *laughs nervously*
Publisher: So, an erotic romance between…what?
Me: Well, there’s a woman and a god. They’re already married. Then, the whole story shifts to the past, and you get to meet another woman. Then she marries someone else, and that’s where the erotica really gets exciting.
A look of “what the fuck?” begins to cross Publisher’s face.
Publisher: So, it’s a romance between a god, a woman in the present, a woman in the past, and someone else’s husband?
Me: Not really. It’s more of a meditation on living through loss and grief, and the way our past experiences shape our present realities.
Publisher: I see.
Publisher leans forward and begins to smash the big, red button under the desk.
Me: Did I mention it’s inspired by Norse mythology?
Publisher: Release the hounds!
[image error]Run, Samantha, run!!!
I took a lot of risks with The Trickster’s Song.
It’s not just the goat scene. It’s the plot, the tragedy, the many, many erotic scenes, the twisted plot lines, the story-within-a-story structure — I could go on and on.
If I’d written this story twenty years ago, at 18, I’d be proud as hell. But the manuscript would have sat on my desk for years, beneath a growing pile of rejection letters. Because it’s just weird.
Happily, I’m not 18, and the publishing world no longer has a gatekeeper. It’s anarchy, folks.
Which means I could go ahead and release my strange, sexy Loki novel into the world, thanks to Amazon and all the other online ebook retailers.
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This novel represents hundreds of hours of work – writing, editing, trying to get the story as right as possible. I wanted to share it with the world, even though I spent a solid month biting my nails and worrying how the world was going to react.
How Did the World React?
I got this review this morning:
“I did not want to stop reading this story and have read it three times since it was released.” (Amazon, 5 star)
Trickster’s Song has only been out one week. It’s 300 pages long. Some lovely, amazing person out there has been reading over 100 pages of Loki smut a day, for a week.
You, Kindle Customer, are a rock star.
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And then there’s this one:
“From start to finish, through laughter, lust, love and tears, this was another amazing story from one of my favorite auto 1-click authors, and another addition to my favorites list for the year. 5+ stars” (Goodreads, 5 star)
*sniff, sniff*
Excuse me while I wipe away my tears of joy.
Hearing from readers like this makes me so glad I put in the effort to finish this thing, to edit and polish it, and to tell the story as honestly as I could. Thank you doesn’t even suffice. Feedback like this is what keeps me publishing on my own, not shelving my books that don’t fit the traditional mold.
In other words, if it weren’t for readers like you, I wouldn’t be writing.
Or at least, I wouldn’t be sharing that writing. 
