Yes to Everything, No to Anything?
How do you decide what to DO today?
How do you know which projects to take? Which goals to set? Where to go? What to eat? Who to meet?
How do you know when to say “YES!” and when to say “Sorry, NO.”?
There are some big opinions out there:
Derek Sivers’ article, “Either HELL YEAH! or no” is probably the best perspective on saying “no” to almost everything.
Shonda Rhimes’ famous “Year of Saying Yes” was a huge hit on TED Talks.
James Altucher has written both “The Power of No” and “Choose Yourself” (in which he tells people how to say “NO” more often)
And Nicky Beusden’s “Week of Yes” article in UnStuck is pretty great.
I’ve personally seen great benefit from saying “YES!” to things that make me uncomfortable (like flying around to meet people in person instead of doing a remote interview, or cold-calling people I admire). But most of my calls with my mentor revolve around saying “NO!” to distracting projects, and staying focused on my key goals.
So which is right? Yes to everything or No to anything? Well, it depends where you are in your entrepreneurial journey.
In the Founder Phase, you probably should say “YES!” to almost everything. If a client invites you to speak at their staff lunch, and you’re terrified of public speaking–say yes anyway. If your mentor tells you to take coffee to six business owners this week, say “YES!” and go get some cups. If you’re invited to coffee by another entrepreneur, say “YES!” even if you aren’t sure how you’ll get more business out of it. You don’t have a lot of money in Founder Phase, but you can invest time. Spread it around!
In the Farmer Phase, your default should probably be “YES.” You’re trying to diversify revenue streams, add staff, and create opportunities for them. It’s hard to keep an abundant mindset, and VERY hard to accept that some people will do things better than you will. It’s hard to allow staff to make mistakes. But Farmer Phase really forces you to grow as a leader for the first time, and that means managing the process instead of micromanaging your people. You need to allow things to happen. Say “YES” to others. Say “YES, and…” when you feel they need more guidance. Say “YES, soon” when your plate is overfilled but you don’t want to discourage anyone.
As Sivers wrote in his book Anything You Want, “You can do anything you want, but you can’t do it all right now.” A frustrated, burned-out Farmer will find it easy to slip into the “NO” mindset. But it’s a trap: “NO” paints you into a corner. While you can’t do everything, and you need to prioritize your time based on your effective hourly rate, it’s easy to make yourself the bottleneck if you say no to everyone else.
In the Tinker Phase, your default should be “NO, thanks” with room for exceptions. This is where Sivers’ “HELL YEAH or no” philosophy fits best. Tinkers find so many opportunities that they can literally harm themselves by trying to tackle too many. While a great entrepreneur can juggle two–sometimes even three–big projects with help, they’ll have to say “NO” to a dozen others. And it will be hard, because they’ll be turning down good ideas to focus on the great ones. No one likes to turn down a good opportunity, especially after years where good opportunities didn’t come along often. But the Tinker Phase is all about personal growth, and that means choosing only the BEST uses of your time.
In Thief Phase, I recommend saying YES! to service and NO! to everything else. Ask yourself: Who will this serve? and then decide if the project or meeting is part of your mission.
Like many decisions in business, the right answer depends on where you are in your entrepreneurial journey. If you’re not sure where you sit, take the test here.
