The Person “With” The Condition Has the FIRST & LAST SAY…
Sometimes I just have to write about something to get it off my chest. So here goes. Recently, while talking to a friend, I caught this person up on my life and how my husband was doing. John was diagnosed with cancer in his fifties–CLL, Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia.
SCARY STUFF
I am a nurse. Thank God. Because though I did not put in decades working in a hospital, when my husband was diagnosed, my knowledge served us well. Any blood cancer is tricky with much science to learn. At his diagnosis neither of us were familiar with the disease. I looked it up in my Medical/Surgical Textbook. “These patients usually live about five years.” Then I looked at the copyright date. The book was seven years old. Medicine and scientists work on a fast-track. I breathed again, this statement no longer held any weight. And I was right. John is doing great as I write this.
So back to the friend conversation. After a minute or two of sharing with her how my husband was doing, then she replied, “Well, it’s like having diabetes.”
This was a phone call. I couldn’t think straight. (I can now.) This person said something about the chronic aspect of the disease and somehow the phone call ended after that.
CLL IS NOT LIKE DIABETES. IT IS CANCER.
Yes, diabetes, especially Type One, is a life-long struggle for many people. I taught diabetes education when I worked at the health department in Des Moines, Iowa. I actually wrote the program. And as I age, I am carefully watching my diet because I could develop Type Two. BUT–it’s not cancer.
I don’t believe that diabetes, on a regular basis, requires any of the following–cancer does. And cancer patients–please speak up!
spending time in an infusion center getting chemotherapy;
worrying about side effects like losing your hair–all your hair;
trying to remain a responsible employee in a responsible full-time position during weeks of therapy and treatment;
having Pet scans and blood draws over and over again;
taking numerous prescriptions to fight viruses and bacteria and when traveling taking all of those medications with you and often wearing a mask on airplanes; because your immune system is forever compromised–that’s what CLL and other leukemias do, mess with your ability to fight infections;
searching for clinical trials to save your life and then flying to another state every quarter to stay in that clinical trial; (It did save his life.)
discovering that your labs are going south, so soon your treatment won’t work and you’ll need something else.
another search for a new therapy while the cloud of the diagnosis forever hangs over your head;
Okay, I could go on and on. Bottom line: a cancer diagnosis changes your life. And it sometimes ends it. I still miss my friend Sue who died of ovarian cancer.
A cancer diagnosis also changes the lives of your family. It just does. And I welcome my readers to chime in here. And I salute ALL my family. They are awesome.
THE BOTTOM LINE
In conclusion, what this post is about is the following statement: WHEN DISCUSSING YOUR CANCER WITH ANOTHER PERSON, YOU HAVE THE FIRST and THE LAST SAY. You are living it. You know the ropes. And don’t be shy. I sucked at responding and I don’t want you to suck at it. And I welcome any story you might want to share that hurt, that pissed you off or made you want to scream. Because the final bottom line in dealing with cancer, is belief in your strength and your decisions–belief in them EVERY SINGLE DAY.
P.S. Here are two links to posts concerning CLL. This one discusses how virtual friendships online helped my husband and me and could help you. Click here.
This post recounts that in-between period that cancer patients and their family often find themselves in. You don’t know what is going to happen, but you just try to hang on.
Finally: below are posts about diabetes!! Diabetes Strategies You Maybe be Missing
Diabetes Mnemonic for Grocery Shopping
Do You Have Occasional Low Blood Sugar?
Thanks for reading. I look forward to your comments.
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