How to Start Living your Best Life - Part One

If you’re like me and most of the people I meet (meaning you’re human), the odds are that every day of your life isn’t perfect. Sorry, I can’t fix that. But, if you really are like most of the people I meet, you have or at some point had ambition. In the next three posts, I’m going to guide you through discovering, creating, pursuing, and achieving your goals with three steps: stop, start, and go. In this first post, we’ll talk about what the STOP means.

Learn to STOP…

…so that you can GO!

It might seem counterproductive to stop before you start, but when it comes to making major changes in your life, there are some things you absolutely have to stop doing before you can ever, truly, get started. Every person has a different list of things he or she needs to stop, but let’s just take a look at three broad categories, which are:

dreamingsabotaging yourselfbeing random.

“…when it comes to making major changes in your life, there are some things you absolutely have to stop doing before you can ever, truly, get started.”

Stop dreaming

This is one of those things that we have to deal with upfront because it’s been so ingrained into our minds through western culture that we have no chance of getting anywhere until it’s fixed. You have dreams. Maybe not. Maybe you had dreams when you were younger. Everyone has or has had them.

Most of the time they’re meaningless.

That’s neither a typo or misprint. I couldn’t care less about a dream. What are your goals? What’s your mission in life? Your purpose? Oh, you don’t know? That’s probably because you’ve been dreaming. Here’s a secret: dreams happen while you’re asleep. Personally, as crazy as my dreams are, I don’t want them becoming a reality. Think about some of the wild dreams you’ve had that you wouldn’t dare tell anyone. Your “life dreams” are no different.

The funny thing about dreams is that they are usually a byproduct of all the situations in your life that bleed together, amplified by what you ate and your current level of stress. That’s why people you’re talking to in your dreams turn into purple monkeys, and you end up standing in front of a room full of people in your underwear. Your mind is trying to process a million things at once, and so it finds a framework that makes some sort of sense. That doesn’t mean it’s realistic.

“I couldn’t care less about a dream. What are your goals? What’s your mission in life? “

Example: You have a lot on your plate at work and then kids, bills, and on and on. You’re stressed out and having a late night. You eat something you shouldn’t and fall asleep. You dream that you’re a kid at work trying to pay bills, but your phone is suddenly a taco. You wake up and tell yourself it’s time for a vacation. Your mind has done its job. Thankfully, in reality, that scenario is never going to happen. I watched Top Gun as a kid and wanted to be a pilot. Suddenly I had a “dream.” In reality, I have vertigo and an astigmatism. Guess who is never going to be a pilot? Stop kidding yourself. Dreams are things that happen in your mind.

Goals, on the other hand, are something you can work toward. Sorry to break it to you, but you cannot be anything you put your mind to, and that’s actually fine. I’m never going to be a rocket scientist; I wasn’t made for that. I was designed to be the guy that writes something that inspires the rocket scientist. Goals.

Stop sabotaging yourself

Now it’s time for me to confuse you and really rock your world. Ready? You can be anything you want.

“Chad, what are you doing? You just said the opposite. You said you can’t be anything you put your mind to.”

You’re right; let me clarify.

You. Were. Designed.

That’s right. You were custom-made. You need to realize that and embrace it in order to find, unlock, and start living your true potential and best life. If you buy into the lie of evolution (macro and big bang, not micro adaptation) you will be convinced that you are a random incident. That’s a lie. You were designed by a master artist who knows what he’s doing. And just like the designer of a Rolls Royce or a Harley-Davidson, you were designed with a purpose in mind.

A Harley isn’t a mini-van. A Rolls Royce isn’t a back and forth to work kind of car. Those are both vehicles, but they were designed for something. So are you. You are here on this earth for a reason. Stop trying to make every dream you have reality and figure out your purpose. I worked in manufacturing for years, and while there’s nothing wrong with that, I wasn’t made for that life. I was miserable because I was the equivalent of a Harley being used as a mini-van. When I shifted to writing and teaching, I found passion in my work, and it came to me so much more naturally.

So, part “A” to no longer sabotaging yourself is to find your purpose, instead of thinking you can just be anything you want. That’s a lie society and culture have taught you. Society and culture are wrong. Part “B” is: once you get that figured out, don’t let anyone tell you there’s anything that can stop you from becoming what you want to be; only you can do that.

“No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t excel at it because I wasn’t designed for it.”

To put this into practical, hands-on type stuff, here’s an example: me. I was respected by people I knew when I worked in manufacturing. I was also miserable and broke. I was mediocre at my job. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t excel at it because I wasn’t designed for it. I went to school for mechanical engineering and immediately felt like the dumbest person alive. The concepts were impossible, and not because I didn’t try. I put everything I had into it; I just couldn’t get it. When I switched my major to English, people looked at me like I was vomit. Seriously, you should have seen the looks people gave me.

Not only that, people told my wife and warned me that I would burn out. People said writing doesn’t pay the bills. Being a writer is a pipe dream. We need factory workers, not writers. People showed me articles about the need for people with trades. I would nod and agree, and in my mind I would laugh because, dummy, you’re reading something a WRITER wrote! When I graduated Summa Cum Laude, no one was voicing doubts. When I got my job at a premier campus, what I was doing suddenly became respectable. When my students had some of the highest scores in the state of Texas, people “were so proud of me.” When I got my publishing contract, it was all congratulations and no doubts. My profession and path is all of a sudden relevant and needed. Weird.

*Note: I actually had a lot of support along the way. I’m simply saying that people will have negative opinions toward what you are doing. That’s fine. It’s their problem, not yours.

Don’t you dare tell me I can’t do this. No, I can’t be the math whiz. That’s okay; I’ll inspire him. I’m never going to the moon (that really is a dream of mine). That’s cool; I’ll write a story about a man, or a boy or a girl, who goes; and that story will inspire someone designed for space travel to become an astronaut. Get out of my way because, now that I know my purpose, I can be anything I want.

Stop being so random

This has mainly been covered, but let’s get even more practical. No one ever reached a goal that wasn’t set. No one ever made it to a finish line that wasn’t visible. You don’t get in your car and start driving in any direction to get to work or the grocery store. No, you have a clear path, and you travel it.

Figure out what you want to do, and commit. Write it down. Tape it to your mirror so it’s the first thing you see in the morning. Make it your background or screensaver on your phone and computer. Make it your tagline on your Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and whatever else you have.

Be specific. Stop dreaming. Wake up. Set a goal, and go after it.

Alright, that’s a lot to chew on for now. In Part Two, I’ll talk to you about the things you need to start doing. First, you have some homework. I want you to spend some time thinking and praying about what your purpose is. If you know what your purpose is, and you’re convinced but getting nowhere, I want you to do some reflecting and evaluating. Is this “purpose” of yours a fit with your design, or is it a phone that’s suddenly a taco? If it fits your design, but you’re getting nowhere, ask yourself if you know what your specific goal is. If you don’t know, it’s time to start figuring that out.