Surviving my appearance in two Sunday tabloids in one day…
It has been an interesting time, to say the least. Two weeks have gone by since two newspapers (The Sunday Mirror and The Sun) published my story of how I was sexually abused as a child, how the abuse nearly fucked up my life, and how I while I was having a mini breakdown I started writing a novel which to be published next week, nearly 20 years later.
[image error]In that time I’ve mostly felt reassured that talking about my own experience was actually the right thing to do, perhaps the last step in the long journey of getting over what happened to me. It’s been quite emotional though and at first I felt rather overwhelmed by all the attention. The Sunday that the articles came out, I was worried about leaving the house at first in case anyone recognised me! (No-one looked at me any differently from usual, thankfully, when I went out for a walk with my husband.) A friend reminded me that a large proportional of writers have also had traumatic childhoods – probably most of the ones we know! – and a fair proportion of those have probably suffered abuse of some kind from a parent. So I’m in good company.
[image error]I was told that the article in The Sunday Mirror generated a ‘huge response’ online and an editor at the newspaper sent me an emotional message from a reader, saying how moved she was reading the article and thanking them for printing it. This one thing made me glad I’d taken the decision to share my own story.
I was pissed off by a couple of things, though. Tabloids being what they are, accuracy is not their holy grail. My age somehow got increased by two years, which I was incensed by. I know, it’s a trivial thing, but still! (They corrected the online version after I complained.) A few other things weren’t quite right and there was some overegging of what I actually said. One thing really irked me: the phrase ‘ruined my life’, though to be fair they did include what I said on how I got my life back together. Even 20 years ago, when I hit rock bottom and lay in bed for a few weeks wondering what there was to live for, I never believed my life had been ‘ruined’. I have never though of myself as victim, and have tried hard to make the most of my life. [image error]Overall though the piece was very sensitively written, and I’m delighted it generated such a strong response.
The second article in The Sun mentioned my new book up front and used quotes from my blog post, along with photos of me at the launch of BLIND SIDE, my debut novel. (Thanks, Rebecca Flood.)
Since the media coverage I’ve been touched by the support offered by so many people, some whom have said they’ve felt inspired or moved by what I’ve done. This has spurred me on to talk more widely in the media and on social media about the abuse in my childhood, and how its psychological impact became the driving force behind THE GIRL IN HIS EYES. I’ve also started the process of sharing my childhood experience with The Truth Project part of the inquiry into child sexual abuse. This week I had a long conversation with my support worker. (It’s all very thorough.) I recommend anyone who was sexually abused as a child to check out their website and consider contacting them. Hundreds of people have participated so far. (The police are informed if there’s any ongoing risk to children.)
Many people have told me recently that they too were sexually abused as children. Sexual abuse within families is, unfortunately, much more widespread than people think, and it’s often from fathers, stepfathers, older brothers, uncles and grandfathers… (Women can be abusers too, let’s not forget.) We can only guess at the real figures given so many people don’t officially report past abuse because they’re ashamed, or believe they were partly to blame, or the abuser is still alive and everyone in the family would be affected. I hope that talking publicly will help a few people who’ve suffered sexual abuse to find the courage speak to someone, or just spur them on to talk more openly. Telling people is incredibly important for recovery, I think, and can be the first step to getting one’s life back. No one should feel any guilt or shame for the things that happened to them as a child, or feel they should keep quiet about something because some people might be shocked or uncomfortable.
Well, I shall stop going on about all this as I’ve got a heap of things still to do. Planning the launch party, contacting bookshops, designing bookmarks, writing guest posts, wondering what to say when I’m interviewed on the radio… This is an exciting, exhausting, stressful time and I don’t think I can take much more of it!! (neither can my VERY much appreciated husband) Thankfully there’s only three more days to go until THE GIRL IN HIS EYES is published 
