Monster Mush...

THE CREEPING KELP by William Meikle (2011 Dark Regions Press / 158 pp / tp)


Remember that segement in CREEPSHOW 2 where a bunch of teenagers go on a raft in an isolated pond and get attacked by a mysterious, floating black mass?  THE CREEPING KELP brings this skit to mind, only on an epic scale.


Noble and Suzie are two scientists working near London in the North Atlantic.  After discovering a strange, black tar on the motor of his boat, Noble makes it back to the main ship just as all hell breaks loose.


As an ever-growing mass of black, tendril-sprouting seaweed attacks England's shores, Noble and Suzie uncover this phenomenon by reading through journals left by recent military persons, then older texts dating back to the 1500s by a Catholic priest and a ship captain.


While Meikle gives a few head-scratching ideas as to what this Creeping Kelp is (everything from an ancient God to a human-engineered military weapon is cited), this short novel is packed with so much cheesy scifi/horror fun it was easy for me to overlook the monster's unclear origin.


Like a better film on the SyFy Channel, THE CREEPING KELP delivers the creature-feature goods despite it's goofy, 'Spongebob'-sounding title.  It starts out as an ecological warning (the beast feeds on plastic consumer waste) yet ends on a Lovecraftian, action-packed note with plenty of dazzling visuals.  Its environmental edge is quickly forgotten in place of major Kelp attacks and latent conspiracy theories.


KELP is an uneven read that tries to make a point or two, but those seeking some classic 1950s-style monster mayhem should be able to ignore the confusion and have a good time.  I did.