The Nun (2018): More Like The Dud!
Cinema tickets have recently been halved where I live, but that’s no reason to go and watch something which I thought looked awful and – as predictable as the jump-scares in it – has been critically lashed. Simply put, when you name the evil, show us what it looks like and how it goes about its work as a taster…forget about it.
It is the ultimate no-no in horror films.
One might say “So what, it was obviously gonna suck,” but it’s different if we’re talking about budget flicks on The Horror Channel in the UK with their 1990’s CGI. When you’ve got lots of money behind you, a cool location, capable actors and it still falls on its face then it deserves criticism. At this level there should be no excuse in creating something at least competent.
A common problem is that most members of the audience are simply cinema-goers, people who use the big screen as a reason to go out, and so quality isn’t under as much scrutiny. But when you don’t critique your ability to critique suffers. It’s a slippery slope. And so modern horror is free to circulate very cliched ideas of what is considered scary. A ‘creepy’ doll, a Ringu-inspired girl with long hair covering her face – it’s almost like the idea of scary has been diluted into fashion trends. You’ll hear teenage girls leaving screens saying “Oh my god, that kid was well creepy,” and the next minute they’re asking where they should go to eat, forgetting all about it and later sleeping just fine. That’s not what good horror does.
Good horror films have an atmosphere that, if not frightens you, stays with you to some degree, because it had craft, because it had restraint, because it nicely hinted at what shouldn’t be without spelling it out, leaving that desire to bring things under our comprehension in a state of turmoil.
In a sane world there’d be a monetary penalty for producing crap, but when something as lame as Annabelle (2014) can thrive (a budget of $6.5 million grossed $257 million worldwide), then you know we’ve got it backwards. The Nun has already turned a nice profit despite poor scores across the boards (IMDB – 6/10 , Rotten Tomatoes – 28%, Metacritic – 46%). It may even spawn another spin-off as ‘The Conjuring Universe’ continues to grow tumours.
All we can do is fight the good fight, so join me in hurling a good dollop of doo-doo at this latest slice of commercial tripe. And if I happen to bump into this Nun in my dreams, I’ll be sure to give her a good slap.
