Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?
Ah, we made it. I think we made it. Usually, at the end of daylight savings time (or is it the beginning?) there's chaos at our house. Because I fall-back the clocks, and then Jonathan does, too. Which makes us twice as early. Or twice as late. Don't even ask me about it.
When I was anchoring the news in Atlanta, there was one November show where the weather guy said to me-- "Don't forget, Hank, this is the night the time changes."
I said--this is live TV, remember--"Well, the TIME doesn't really change. We just change the clocks. But the time is a continuum, and it stays the same no matter what. WE just change how we count it."
Long story, but I got in a bit of trouble. In fact, I was ordered to "practice my ad libbing"--but that's another blog for another day.
Television is all about TIME. Getting breaking news on in time. How much time there is until the next deadline. How much time they've allotted for your story. How much time there is until someone is going to tell you you're late. There is no late in TV.
I've been a TV reporter for more than 30 years. And as a result, if you want to know what time it is, don't ask me. I only know what time it is *for me.*
I see you looking baffled. But here's what I mean. I don't know what time it really is—because I'm fooling myself about it. And somehow, it works. How can we fool ourselves? I mean, we should know, right?
For instance. The alarm clock-radio on my nightstand is set nine minutes fast. So when it rings at 7:30, the time I usually have to get up, I creak open my eyes, try to focus on the green numerals, and my brain yells: GET UP! It's 7:30.
Then there's a pause, while the other half of my brain happily reminds me that it's really 7:21, and I delightedly hit the snooze.
Why? Why not just set the clock for the real time? Then set the alarm for, say 7:21, then hit the snooze for nine minutes and get up at the real 7:30?
Because then I don't get the precious nine "extra" minutes of sleep.
There's a clock in the bathroom where I do my hair and makeup—I set that one about 12 minutes fast. Here I'm fooling myself to get me to hurry up. I look at the clock, mid-mascara: it's 8 o'clock already! I panic. Hurry! Then I realize it's actually jus
t twelve minutes until 8 o'clock, and I have plenty of time, and I can relax a bit. I'm no longer behind—I'm ahead.
Does that make any sense? Do you do that?
I do it with the clock on my wall at the TV station where I work as a reporter—I set that fast, too, but it makes sense in the world of unmissable deadlines. I suppose. I can't be late, so if the clock is fast, it's less likely that'll happen.
My husband says: why don't you just set the clocks to the REAL TIME? And I see his point. Kind of. But faking myself out works for me.
I also fool myself with money. On payday, I enter the income into my not-so-perfect checkbook register—but I put the deposit amount as less than it really is. So I have a little pad.
My husband says—why don't you just write down the real amount? So you know how much money is actually there? Not some theoretical amount? Yeah, I see his point. But that doesn't work for me.
I also hide money from myself in my wallet. The other day, I unzipped a little pouch on the side and there was the secret 20 dollars I had tucked there for emergencies. But I had forgotten it was there! So much for the emergency idea. But see—I've done that several times. Lots of times. And I always forget it's there. 
Then I'm always delighted to find it.
Is reality so complicated and unmanageable that we have to fool ourselves into making it all work? My little self-trickery makes me happy, and it makes my life work very nicely.
Do you face reality? Or do you have your secret ways?
