Super Ranting & Galactic Moaning
This summer has been looooong and hot. Could have really done with a handful of blockbuster movies but Japan’s domestic audience means these get shunted into September and beyond to make way for Doraemon and the accursed Pokemon!
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Anyway, just wanted to put forth an opinion concerning the super-dooperest of heroes, Kal-El, aka Man of Steel, aka Superman (not to be confused with Russ Abbot’s Cooperman).
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Cooperman & Blunder Woman
I loved Superman growing up. Richard Donner’s Soops was incredible, the sequel even better and the third creeped me out with that Fem-Bot and made me wince when Clark gets squished in the trash compactor (I shall not mention the one That-Shall-Not-Be-Named, ie IV). And I also really liked Man of Steel. Cavill makes a great Soops for this day and age, and Michael Shannon was awesomely bad-ass as Zod. But so many dissed the film because Superman broke Zod’s neck. “Superman would never do a thing like that!” they cried and accused Zack Snyder of not understanding the character.
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“I WILL FIND HIM!”
I am not a comics buff (wish I was) so am not making any comment about what the character of Superman would or would not do; my beef is with the comparing of the two movies (Superman II and Man of Steel) on the point of Zod’s demise. Doesn’t anybody remember the actual way Superman killed (yes, murdered!) Zod in the former incarnation?! He crushed the bones in his hand, then threw him into an icy grave. How noble! Zod might have been down there with several other broken bones sustained in the fall, unable to fly ‘cos Supes had duped him out of his powers, and then freezing or starving to death, or internally bleeding to death. At least Cavill gave Zod a quick death and did so because innocent people were about to be toasted by the Mega-Red-Eye-Death-Ray. I rest my case.
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Suit could do with a clean…
This brings me onto Galactic Moaning. I’m starting to feel that the so-called “True Fans” are ruining things for new fans. First point to make is that we are in a very different world now in terms of what we watch on TV and at the cinema. I’m not sure at what point things got so gritty and grim, but when you have Game of Thrones and Vikings showcasing the bloody reality of the period/fantasy era, you can no longer be blown away by the A-Team’s antics or take seriously a guy who wears his underpants over his tights. A loss of innocence? A feeling that the consequences of violence need to be displayed in all their terrible glory (unlike said A-Team where bullets flew and bad guys just jumped into the dust)? Or the inevitable escalation of anything?
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Social media has sadly revealed just how awful and nasty people can be. I loathed Jar-Jar Binks but did “fans” have to scream their anger so loud Ahmed Best almost took his own life? Hayden Christensen wasn’t well cast as Anakin, his acting a tad sandy, but was anybody praising Mark Hamill’s acting chops back in the 80s?
One problem is that a legion of man-boys believe Star Wars belongs to them and they should be able to dictate what is in the new movies. Rather impractical it must be said, trying to satisfy a million grown men who yearn to return to their childhood and experience that same fantastic buzz we had when the Star Destroyer first flew over our heads. And also rather unfair to all the new fans who are seeing Star Wars for the first time.
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“I wanted Rey’s parents to be Palpatine and Leia!”
Here comes my confession. I went to see The Last Jedi with my two boys (aged 7 and 10 at the time) when it came out. Like many I was disappointed and annoyed with what struck me as a lack of decent screen-writing. I didn’t mind Luke being a grump but I thought his chucking away the lightsaber was a silly gag to get a shock-laugh from the audience. Poe Dameron didn’t seem to lose too much sleep over all the lives he lost; Finn and Rose’s side mission was seemingly written on the back of a coaster after one too many Jaeger Bombs; and Snoke’s death was cool but seemed like a convenient way for people to stop asking who he was…’cos nobody had bothered to give him a back-story.
I vented my feelings to my kids on the train home and afterwards I have to admit felt pretty shitty. When I saw ROTJ in California in 1983, I was 8 years old and felt like I was in another galaxy. The experience of Jedi was a feeling that tingled through my entire body. If my Dad had started blathering on how Luke would never have slaughtered a barge full of people (even though they were underworld goons), or how the Ewoks overpowering trained troops in armour was unrealistic, or why didn’t the Empire put up a few steel barriers to stop ships as big as the Falcom flying right into the core, I’d have cried, no doubt about it.
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So, in conclusion, I think we Man-Babies who grew up with the original trilogy, need to take a step back, have a beer or a cup of tea, and just relax a bit. We do not own Star Wars and should admit it was intended for children anyway. And we need to cut back on the angry Tweets and FB posts. Discuss with your friends what you didn’t like but FFS don’t start petitions asking for a film to be erased from history! There are so, so many other issues in the world that need that kind of outrage and then activism by adults right now. And the children need to be able to enjoy this new generation of Star Wars, Star Trek, Superman, Bat-Man etc., without their Dads and Uncles piously informing them that “ would never do that.”
As for the racists, homophobes and misogynists… please ask yourself if your insults and slurs make you any happier or make you feel important. If they don’t, then perhaps step onto a new path in life. If they do, then ask yourself why that is.
Not to end on a downer, let’s all of us, kids & adults, guys & gals, fans & casual viewers just enjoy the abundance of TV shows now available. There has to be something on Netflix or Hulu etc. for every taste.
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These posters get me even now, sparking the wonder I still hold somewhere inside.
