The One Thing Husbands Need to Know About Their Wives
The following is a guest post written by my wife, Christina Im, on the one thing that she wants every husband to know. I pray that it encourages you as much as it has encouraged me.
Marriage is hard.
Marriage takes work.
Marriage isn’t always what we thought it would be.
Marriage takes sacrifice.
Daniel and I have recently entered our 12th year of marriage. During our engagement, if someone were to have had told me any of the above statements, I would have scoffed at them. “Actually, marriage is going to be amazing because I can finally have sex,” is what I would have wanted to say. But honestly, I would have NEVER had the audacity to be that abrupt.
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Don’t miss the giveaway valued at $200 at the bottom of this post for your wife!
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On a perfectly sunny August day, I married my best friend. And, we lived happily ever after, right?
Well, like you always hear from those who have gone before us, the first year of marriage was difficult—we had A LOT of “iron sharpening iron” moments. However, nothing could have prepared me for the agony and the deep soul searching that awaited me.
I can recount two times where I cried out to God, “Hey…I think you’ve forgotten me.” The first time was when Daniel felt a strong calling to leave everyone and everything behind and move to South Korea. I was just entering my second year at a job that had GREAT potential and I was toying with the idea of going back to school to get my Masters of Social Work. Moving to Korea was not on my radar, and while I begged God to change my husband’s heart…God changed mine instead.
Have you ever felt put on the sidelines…by God?
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The second time I felt that God had put me on the sidelines was the moment I saw the blue double lines appear on the pregnancy test. “Oh God, we are living in Korea with no family around. We are BOTH just about to start our second semester of school. We don’t have time to be pregnant.” In the end, Daniel and I chose to put my schooling and career on hold while I became a full-time stay-at-home mom.
I never wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.
I wanted to wear heels during the day and slippers at night while I rocked my precious children to sleep. However, with Daniel working full-time, writing part-time, and the cost of having three kids under five in daycare, it didn’t financially make sense for me to go back to work. So, life tumbled on.
A year ago, a theme began to appear in my life.
Whether it was the latest Bible study I was doing, or the new hit song that would play on the radio—the theme was “SEEN.” Slowly, God’s past whispers of “I have not forgotten you,” turned into billboards screaming, “THE UNSEEN IS SEEN.” Suddenly, through one event catapulting to another, my dormant dreams, passions, and aspirations emerged from their cocooned state.
What is unseen to you is SEEN by God.
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Husbands, I share my story with you because we have something in common.
We all have dreams, passions, aspirations, and a God-given calling that we need to step into.
What we don’t have in common is that 9 times out of 10, the woman takes the hit for the whole team.
Even if your wife is working outside of the home, studies show that women earn 20% less than their male counterparts. Not to mention, the societal stress put on women to excel both outside and inside of the home, is enough to cause your wife to throw in the towel. The world screams, “YOU ARE UNSEEN.” And, sadly, sometimes the church whispers, “Your husband is more important than you are. Help him succeed, and you will too.”
I honestly don’t know of any loving husband that wishes for his wife to feel forgotten, unseen, and not as important.
Life just has a way of tumbling along; you both desperately hold on until the next season and sometimes the end result is that your wife’s dreams get left behind.
Until now.
Perhaps it’s time to take a purposeful pause in the tumbling of your every day lives.
Perhaps it’s time to take a purposeful pause in the tumbling of your every day lives.
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Husbands, I want to encourage you to ask your wife about her current dreams, aspirations, and desires.
I want to urge you to pray WITH your wife about what her God-given callings are.
I want to compel you to CALL OUT the “unseen” in her life to the surface.
Remind your wife that God SEES her by taking the time, energy, and finances to invest into her next step.
And just maybe, the next step for her is to learn, grow, and rediscover her strengths, gifts, and talents.
So this week, how can you serve her in that way?
For me, I am entering into a job that has nothing to do with my undergrad. I feel excited, yet apprehensive. While talking to Daniel about my fear of failing, he recommended I attend the Business Boutique conference happening in Nashville on Nov 1-3, 2018. It sounded like EXACTLY what I was looking for! Business Boutique empowers women to step into their God-given gifts and overcome fear while learning to take their business to the next level.
But, who will take care of the kids?! Who will pack their lunches and drive them to school? Who will make sure their agendas are signed and their homework done?
My gracious husband rearranged his work schedule to ensure that the kids’ schedule will not be disrupted AND that I am able to go to this conference.
If you think this conference would be beneficial for your wife, Daniel and I are giving away two free tickets valued at $200.
Perhaps this might be just the right experience and next step for your wife?
