An Old One Eyed Granny View For Whoopdi Friggin Doo!

Are we trying to scare viewer's away? Who let her get on display? Didn't the camera break? How much more of this can I take? I think I need to sit down. Robbie Raisin may give her the cyclops crown.

Elsie Amata'sWhoopdi Friggin Doo
What will she do not to scare? Will she show a wig full of shiny hair?

For a minute I thought you were talking about me
But than I thought, "No, that couldn't be."
The cat wouldn't be that dumb
unless he wants to live on the run
from my big dangerous dogs
who would lick him into a fog!

So you are going to lick a cat? Wow, cat videos sure are where it is at.

Or they are amazed by my beauty
and think, "Wow! What a cutie!"
Then they ask if I'm a princess
but then I have to confess
that I am just Elsie Amata
a pretty, littler Long Islander (when I say it, it rhymes) 

A fake rhyme and a cute chime. Does it still hold for a one eyed mime?

It scares our dogs too
Not much we can do
To make people around here stop
unless we want to call a cop
but than we'd have a neighbor war
and a bag of poop would be flung at our door
Illegal or not they're here to stay
no matter what the holiday

So you have one eyed neighbors as well? Damn, you are in hippie heaven where you dwell.

I LOVE this kind of talk
it puts a bounce in my walk
a smile upon face
and it's sure to be your saving grace!

Guess you love the one eye remarks. Or maybe dog barks.

Of course you would go ahead and brag
While leaving me lying next to some Canadian hag
who wiped me clean of all the food and wine
then can't drive and causes a traffic line
thanks for ruining my summer fun
now I just to go and run!

You may alienate our Canadian viewers with that. They may get pitchforks after a spat.

Well, I'm still really grumpy from yesterday and I had to hold off on doing a ranting post about it so I wish I had 25% more of my damn income. I wish I didn't pay so much in taxes. Stupid IRS. You know there's a post coming....

Sorry, you only get one go. Whoopdi Friggin Doo doesn't do repeats posts or pay the IRS any dough.

That is why I love the sea
Even if someone pees
it is quickly washed away
so I can still swim and play!
Just wish it wasn't crowded with folks
maybe you can scare them with your jokes?

Can't you just give them the evil one eye? Then away them and their pee would fly.

I'm guilty of misspelled and dropped words
Because I type so fast, like the wings on a bird.
Maybe one day I'll slow down,
but everything moves fast in my town.

So bad spelling keeps them there? Slow down? Do we want to know while on air?

I understand loving my shampoo
Those soapy suds really do
make my hair healthy and shine
ain't no way I'm giving up mine!

You sure have a thing with hair. I guess you need it to cover your one eyed affair.

Are you sure that was a random scroll?
I could have written that summer droll.
I'm so tired of snow and rain
it's becoming one big pain!
I can't wait to be back on the beach
and summer is almost within my reach!
I'll even bring along some nachos and beer
I don't care what it does to my fine rear!

Give us that rear shot to end the day. That may take the scary away. Did I really just ask to see a cyclops's ass on air? I think this syndication thing is really becoming a weird affair.

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Old One Eyed Granny sure goes on about her hair and the giant litter box a lot. She even has a Canadian ridding plot. Maybe they'll have to lock her in a tower. Then no one else will cower. It has lots of stairs for her to climb at least. She could be a reverse beast. On that movie we'd take a pass. It would probably scare my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.