The Anglo Philes – The Case of the Errant Houseboy

I admit I’m an anglophile. The blame lies squarely on PBS – all those episodes of Masterpiece Theater, Jeeves and Wooster, Black Adder, Red Dwarf, and the rest warped my mind.  Now, of course, there’s also BBC America, so the corruption is complete.
 
I enjoy contemporary British fiction, but frankly, the language still trips me up. (Don’t get me started on Trainspotting.) Recently I had a ton of fun reading and re-reading three books by Gillibran Brown: Fun With Dick and Shane: The Memoirs of a Submissive Houseboy, More Fun With Dick and Shane, and Achilles and the Houseboy. 


           
 
In the first two books Gilli recounts their adventures in diary entries filled with lively and often self-deprecating humor, but there are also many serious moments. The third book is an extended tale of events that actually took place within the time line of the second novel. I occasionally grew exasperated with Gilli, wanting to slap some sense into him, but the truth is, I love the silly bugger, and the source of my true frustration is that there aren’t more tales out. Yet.
 
Anyways, I thought I’d share a few Briticisms I learned from Gilli, complete with applicable quotes from the books.
 
 
"I can’t see him or Shane being too chuffed to be confronted by a film entitled ‘Horny Houseboy’ featuring yours truly being gang banged while clutching a feather duster. Though knowing Dick he’d want to re-enact the scene with him and Shane playing the gang."
 
chuffed | ch əft|
adjective [ predic. ] Brit., informal
very pleased : I'm dead chuffed to have won.
ORIGIN 1950s: from dialect chuff [plump or pleased.]
 
"It’s been a nice weekend all in all. We fitted the new downstairs toilet on Saturday. It was a doddle and I’ve promised not to go paddling around in it."
 
doddle |ˈdädl|
noun [in sing. ] Brit., informal
a very easy task : this printer is a doddle to set up and use.
ORIGIN 1930s: perhaps from dialect doddle [toddle,] of unknown origin.
 
"If my punctuation and grammar are even more erratic than usual you’ll just have to lump it, cos I’ve had a few bevies and I can barely hit the space bar let alone anything smaller."
 
lump 2
verb [ trans. ] ( lump it) informal
accept or tolerate a disagreeable situation whether one likes it or not
 
"Dick gave me a a galacial look that plainly said he didn’t like my lug trinkets either."
 
lug 2
noun
3 (usu. lugs) Scottish or informal a person's ear.
 
"Angela, who was more than slightly squiffy, hailed me as if indeed I were the waiter and requested red wine."
 
squiffy |ˈskwifē|
adjective ( -fier , -fiest ) informal chiefly Brit.
slightly drunk : he's squiffy from the rum.
ORIGIN mid 19th cent.: of unknown origin.
 
"I’m just grateful that Shane doesn’t have access to a Carbonite-freezing dungeon, or this poor little houseboy would be done for. I’d spend most of my life gurning from the living room wall."
 
gurn |gərn|
verb [ intrans. ] chiefly Brit.
make a grotesque face : [as n. ] ( gurning)
 
"Apparently I’m and ill-mannered cur who isn’t fit to face the table of sweet and gentle folk."
 
cur |kər|
noun
an aggressive dog or one that is in poor condition, esp. a mongrel.
• informal a contemptible man.
 
"From the look on his face and the tone of his voice I knew that he meant it and immediately parked my botty back on the chair."
 
botty
bottom, noun
butt, arse. The children's expression is botty.
 
"I’ve got my gobshite head on today."
 
gobshite
noun
idiot, one who speaks shite out of their gob. Literally someone who doesn't know what they are talking about.
 
"So it was decided there was to be no pet moggy for this houseboy. The quasi mansion was to be a permanent pussy free zone."
 
moggy/moggie
noun
cat
 
"Once the nice chat was done I picked up my appliance and flicked it back on, whereupon I almost shit a bin lid. It shorted out on account of the water that had dripped into the gubbins, as I exercised my gob.  (This after Gilli decides to defrost the freezer with the help of the hairdryer."
 
gubbins [ˈgʌbɪnz]
n Informal
1. an object of little or no value
2. a small device or gadget
3. odds and ends; litter or rubbish
4. a silly person
 
"The Muppet at least offered me a smile and a warm two-handed handshake when he took his leave. It’s wonderful what a bacon sarnie can do for personal relations. I think I quite like the Muppet, Charles, and I think, despite my swearing in front of his wife that I’m growing on him a little bit per visit."
 
sarnie
noun
a sandwich
 
"I’m going to try out a new recipe this evening, ginger cashew chicken. It’s a bit a faff on, but it sounds nice and if it works well it might sweeten Shane’s mood."
 
faff
noun
unnecessary trouble involving something that is not important