11/10/2009

Hmm… It seems that Sunday has transformed into entry day while the weekdays are poem and story days. I’m enjoying myself though so what the hell right? As long as it keeps me from taking my smoking habit to a whole new level, I guess I can’t complain a lot. Maybe I should try harder to quit.

I wonder if telling my parents would be the right thing to do. Maybe they’ll buy me some nicotine patches or something. I’ve already tried drinking coffee but all I ended up doing was drink more coffee than usual. I’m up to around 10 cups a day. Now not only am I addicted to nicotine, I’m addicted to caffeine too.

I’ve even got the opportunity to hang out with the “cool people”. If smoking marijuana was what people considered cool, I bet they were at the top of the food chain. Some of them smoke weed like, all day long! All the way from morning to evening! They already look like skeletons with pale flesh hanged onto them.

I really do wonder if I’d be ending up the same way. I started up on it and I really liked it. You feel light headed all of a sudden. For the first time in years I laughed and just kept on laughing! I honestly couldn’t stop laughing for what seemed like forever. And the trips, they were just amazing! I can’t even start to describe them.

One moment, I’d be like “Okay, I’m here in the parking lot of the school in my car” and the next I’d be like “When did I get here?” It’s one hell of a rush really! But I guess I shouldn’t be making a habit of it too. I’m already screwed six ways to Sunday that I really question the concept of handling another addiction.

Never again I guess though I really don’t believe myself when it comes to getting off the hook from things that’ll definitely harm me physically. Maybe it is to balance out the psychological turmoil I go through every day. Hmm… I really feel like writing a poem about it now.

I guess I should write a poem based on my addiction. A perennial river that I really wish would dry up someday. Maybe today… Maybe some other day… I guess “maybe” should be defined as a dangerous word!