13/09/2009
So yeah, I’ve been writing this diary like every week now. It’s rather growing on me. Gives me a place I can call home. I’ve been feeling pretty bipolar lately so I thought I’d write my first Haiku ever. Pseudo haiku to be exact. What? I’m like 17 years old. Aren’t I supposed to write poems a bit more complex than normal rhymes? So there I sat in class writing my first Haiku.
I had studied about it the night before. It sounded a bit hard but I thought it might be fun. Describing human emotions through nature. It sure did take me a while to figure out which aspect of nature I should choose to portray the ever changing polarity of my own emotions and feelings. To be honest, it wasn’t till I looked out of the window I was sitting next to that I figured it out.
The leaves being blown around by the wind sure lead me compare it with my own actions being pushed around by the way I felt. It was quite crazy really. Sometimes, I’d feel really happy for having friends even if they were fake and all. And at other times, I really loathed the fact that I was forever alone even though, I was always surrounded by a crowd.
The feelings really took me places. From time alone at the forbidden roof of the school to walks down empty lanes. I really went places alright. It was getting tiring to be honest. I felt like I’d be going back to “The Crimson Lead” days again pretty soon. But then, the wind would change and I’d be laughing my butt off in front of a crowd at stupid jokes and make some of my own.
Life really is complicated! It just changes polarities the same way as the wind and my emotions do! But then again, when I really think about it… Is life really complicated or are we, the so called superior beings, making it that way? But then again, I’m not really wise enough to theorize life accurately in words.
Well whatever, I really think I should try and write stories more instead of just poems. I’ve been writing a lot of poems lately. Wonder why that is… Alright… It’s decided, the next thing I write in this diary is going to be a flash story. And it would be one with a rather tragic but tender end for sure too. I’ve already got a story lined up.
I was pretty much influenced by my visit to the cancer center last month. Guess I should make the most of the inspiration. I wish the poor and terminally ill people could read it. Maybe they could realize that some of them actually end up dying a hero with or without their knowledge of it.
Maybe this could be a tribute! Something that captures their subtle memories or something! Who am I kidding? This diary is nothing but a key to my heart. And none shall have access to it for I fear they will trample on the shattered pieces.
