In Celebration Of Getting Drunk At Work, And A Very Special Episode Of The Jeff Kay Show

Obviously, I don’t get drunk at work. Let’s be clear about that. I mean, seriously. But Toney and I were watching an episode of The Office a few days ago and Jim and Andy got smashed while working on some special project after hours, and it got me to thinkin’… Do people really get a buzz on at work, during regular business hours? I assume the answer is yes, and would like to get your feedback on this one.

Some personal experience I’ve had on the subject:

When I worked at Fas-Chek, a grocery store in Dunbar, I think all the managers were hitting the sauce, all day long. They kept bottles in their cars and were walking back and forth on an almost continuous basis. Then they’d come back in and call us numb-nuts and shit-for-brains, etc. Ahhhh… such precious memories.

In fact, after I’d been there for a year or so, and earned his trust, the night manager would occasionally ask me if I wanted a “special Coke.” Then he’d leave the store for a few minutes, and bring me back a bottle of soda loaded with rotgut whiskey. Helped take the edge off of a long night of stocking the feminine napkins.

And at the same store, we used to drink beers inside the walk-in coolers, after 10 pm when the drunk manager went home. It’s insane, now that I think about it, but the manager left at 10 and the store stayed open until midnight. So, for the last two hours, the whole place was run by dumbass high school kids. As you might imagine, shenanigans ensued.

Later, at the Dunbar Exxon, there was a lot of drinking on the job, as well. The owners left around 5 pm, it was super-busy until about 8 pm, then it was Miller Time. When I worked the overnight shift, Miller Time started upon arrival. You’d get your register drawer in order, clean up to your satisfaction behind the counter, and grab a quart of beer from the cooler. Ridiculous.

Also, in Atlanta, I worked at a place called Gemini Distributing for about six months. They were an indie music distributor, located in Norcross. Long out of business… But I went to lunch most days with some rambunctious character straight out of The Bronx, or somesuch. His accent was as thick as his drinking problem. He was a smart dude, and a musician, as well. But he had a small problem with the bottle… And he’d get shithoused on lunch break every day. We’d go to Pizza Hut and he’d do nothing but drink beer. He’d start with a pitcher, finish it off, and start ordering pints until our hour was up. He was always trying to get me to join him, and I never would. “I guess you’re not as hard-driving as I am…” he’d say in his Bowery Boys accent. Wonder what happened to that guy? He was no dummy, that’s for sure.

What do you have on this? Anything? Please share your stories of drinking on the job. Use the comments section above or below. I can’t remember and am too lazy to check.

Finally, I have something to announce from the Biting Off More Than I Can Chew desk… I’ve decided to release two episodes of the podcast every week, instead of just one. Until I change my mind, there will now be episodes released on Monday and Thursday. But… here’s how it’s gonna work:

Monday’s episode will be available everywhere, including the podcast app currently on your phone. Wherever you get yer podcasts, the Monday episodes will be there and completely free. Eventually. More on that in a moment…

Thursday’s episode will be available only to patrons at Patreon who contribute $4 or more per month. Just like it is now. Nothing changes with Thursday. These episodes WILL NOT be available everywhere. Only at Patreon.

In fact, all episodes will be available at Patreon. Monday will be wide-open to anyone who cares to listen, and Thursday will be locked-down for patrons only.

Is that confusing? I don’t think it is, but what do I know?

By the way, a HUGE thank you to the folks who have decided to support me at Patreon. You guys are awesome, and I appreciate it sincerely. I hope you’re enjoying the podcast, and I’m working on some other patron-only benefits, as well. Thank you guys!

And I’m enjoying the podcast more than I could’ve ever imagined and want to crank it up a bit. I like the idea of having one episode per week available to the general public. It’s fun, so far. Let’s see what happens with it. Nothing but crickets probably, but you never know.

Here’s the frustrating part, though. The center of the podcast universe, unfortunately, is Apple. Most of the podcast directories feed off iTunes in some way, so you HAVE to be on iTunes. And dealing with Apple is nothing short of maddening. In fact, after I published Crossroads Road I attempted to get it into the Apple ebooks store, and finally just said fukkit. They make it so impossibly complicated you want to start punching panes of glass.

And this was no different. I started the odyssey on Saturday afternoon, and finally got the thing submitted to iTunes sometime on Sunday. During that time I nearly had a full-on nervous breakdown. If it hadn’t been for a Reddit page for podcasters, I would’ve never figured it out. Check this: you have to use the first Apple ID you ever created (not necessarily the current one) with which you made a purchase. So, if your login information has changed through the years, the current one won’t work for submitting a podcast. You have to use the one from 2006 or whatever. Nowhere is this information made clear, plus it makes no sense. WTF??

Anyway, it’s in Apple’s hands now. I’m waiting for them to review and approve the podcast. From what I read it can take anywhere from three hours to ten days. I received a confirmation email from them, but no approval yet. So… let’s give it some time.

The first episode is, however, up in Stitcher. They’re the second largest directory, so that’s some progress. Also, it’s at Patreon. I had some problems with this one, including a power outage, two computer crashes, and my son suddenly blasting Slayer while I was recording. Also, I was a little tired and sound a bit Tom Waits-like. But I think there are some laughs. I’m pretty happy with it. Give it a listen, if you’re so inclined.

Hopefully, by next Monday you’ll be able to pull the Monday episodes up on your favorite app. Except for Spotify. You have to have five episodes in the can before Spotify will add you. But we’ll be there soon. As they say… stay tuned.

And I’m calling it a day, my friends. Let me know what you have on people drinking at work. And if you have any questions about the podcast thing, put ’em in the comments and I’ll respond ASAP. The Surf Report is blocked at my job (I think it’s categorized as FILTH), so it’s a little difficult. But I’ll answer as soon as I can.

I’ll see you guys again soon. Thursday, in fact.

Have a great day!

Now playing in the bunker

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