The Autist Goes Shopping

There are times when I would much rather not enter a brick-and-mortar store.

It’s a quandary, because I really like being able to go up to the merchandise and touch and weigh and literally debate the pros and cons of this brand name versus that brand name for the same product. It’s satisfying. I truly feel I can make a better decision than just viewing a 2-dimensional photo on a website.

However, if I know exactly what I’m after, and one click, no muss, no fuss with a clerk, can accomplish the task, depending on the mood I’m in, and what the purchase is, I’ll take the virtual road more often traveled these days.

Social contact can be hard. Especially when the setting is unfamiliar, or the circumstances may change without warning. I don’t like it when I’m simply trying to buy groceries and someone treats me unkindly because I can’t make eye contact or can’t move as quickly as the other customers.

This type of thing happens more frequently than many people want to admit.

It’s a sort of unspoken prejudice, that people who act differently from the cultural norm in public are shunned. And according to the soapbox of political correctness, they aren’t, so no one wants to discuss the fact that, yes, indeed, they are.

Because this sort of incident has occurred in my life more than I would like to have to confess to, I’ve limited where I shop in person.

It’s also been my experience that stores that hire people with disabilities are a lot more welcoming to customers with various challenges.

In a world that makes you feel like you’ll never fit in, not even when you’re just carrying out basic functions like shopping for essentials, taking comfort where you can get it is important.

Autists may also have to avoid certain stores because the lighting is too bright, the inventory is too plentiful (and therefore making a selection too confusing), if too many people come in at a certain time of day, and a dozen other factors. “Just” needing to go out for new clothes or shoes can actually be very stressful.

Even when we find stores that fit our sensory and social paradigms, it doesn’t mean everything will go according to plan. We might not be able to find an item. It might be raining when we leave the building, and the umbrella is in the car.

We don’t have to let the unexpected wear us down. We can take it all with a good attitude. We can look at running for our car through the pattering raindrops as an adventure.

But doing all of this is something much easier theorized than achieved.

So, please, bear with us. Please stop looking down your nose at people who aren’t quite like you, or keep expecting them to “adapt.” Please keep in mind the Golden Rule.

And the old adage that the customer is always right. No matter the kind of customer.