Daniel Goleman: The Magic of Connection

Think of a person you work with regularly – your boss, a colleague, a direct report. Now bring to mind times you’ve felt a disconnect with that person: you or they tuned out, didn’t listen, weren’t communicating effectively. What was the impact on how well you or they performed? Then bring to mind that same person, or someone else you work with on a regular basis. Think of times you’ve connected well – you felt empathy, understanding, on the same page. What was the impact on how you both worked? There’s no doubt that a tight human connection makes for the best outcomes. People feel trust, commitment, motivation. They not only perform at their best, but also feel safe enough to take smart risks, share creative insights, and innovate. The science behind such moments can help anyone foster connection better. Take, understanding the circuitry of the social networks of the brain. These insights can make it easier to spot “I-It” moments, where communication goes off-base, as though people are being treated like machines, versus “I-You” connection, where mutual empathy runs high. The Harvard Business Review calls such high-rapport connections “The Human Moment.” To allow the emotional space for such moments we need to ignore our distractions – texts, phones, emails, trains of thought – and pay full attention to the person in front of us. When we do that, research at Harvard Medical School shows, our connection can be so powerful it meshes our biology with the other person’s.  I’ll be reviewing the neuroscience of connection, and how it matters for rapport and high connectivity, at a workshop  on the “Chemistry of Connection” August 10-12 at Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY. Tara Bennett-Goleman will detail emotional patterns that create high connection and those that disconnect.  Aaron Wolf, who mediates conflicts over shared water systems internationally, will show how to foster connection even when animosity runs high. And RJ Sakowski joins up with a horse, revealing principles of connection with direct take-homes for we humans. Come join us, all the details are here.