Common Misconceptions About Writers

Announcing you’re a professional writer garners an interesting mix of reactions from passerby or new acquaintances. Some people will be absolutely fascinated and assume you must live some kind of jetsetting life, involving month-long working vacations on the coast of Spain, meeting celebrities, and attending conventions during which your name will develop its own actual hashtag. Other folks simply squint at you and indicate they’re a bit concerned you should get a “real” job.

Why do people even think either of these extremes? Well, it comes down to some rather unrealistic conceptions about writers and the writing life. Today I’ll examine some I’ve run across, and hope to dispell them, but the true aim is to have fun. While informing the ignorant masses. Ahem. Fun first, right.

#1: Writers must be incredibly brilliant geniuses. You think this because we create worlds and get paid for it, probably. Well, yes, imagination is an important tool in the creative’s box. However, writing a novel start to finish is about 14% imagination, 123% hard work. (Yes, the math is fine, ssh.)

Oh, yeah, coming up with an idea that hasn’t already been done a gazillion and a half times is a major bonus towards eventual sales and reader base. But if you have a fantastic notion, and utterly boondoogle it on the page, then you are sunk.

After waking up at 1:30 in the morning and scribbling down on an old post office receipt the phrase, “The killer was underground, hoarding his victims’ socks,” you still must make sure plot holes don’t pop up, characters don’t do things without motivation readers can relate to, and that you don’t write in one paragraph, “Uncle Arthur’s big gray horse,” only to put in the next chapter, “Uncle Amos’ big white horse.”

You are responsible for getting the research from reputable sources, for connecting all the dots in your story’s arcs, for crafting dialogue out of your own mind and didn’t just lift from threads you saw on Twitter. And while all of this does require intelligence, smarts do not replace the effort.

#2: Writers all know each other and go to amazing writing retreats together. Ha. Ha, ha. Hahahahahahahahaha. Yes, some of the bestselling authors are friends, and sometimes get the chance to dash off to a cabin in Scotland for a week to work on their WIPs in one another’s company. But this is so extremely rare. (Ask people like Neil Gaiman and Maggie Stiefvater themselves.) (And, yes, I am an authority on the lives of these folks — I follow their Tweets.)

Besides the fact that no one really has the money for this type of thing (even New York Times bestsellers), we don’t have the time (so many professional authors have families and other ways they spend their free hours), or necessarily the inclination. Writing is largely a solitary pursuit — partly because of all the research and the thinking and deciding that must happen. If you’ve ever tried to figure out the best way to off a character while your kids are wrestling in the next room, and all you can hear is, “He’s licking me! He’s licking me!”, then you understand why quiet and being alone is vital to creating a good story.

Indie authors do tend to have more personal connections — a lot of it is because our platform is smaller, more tight-knit, and we rely on each other for occupational support, marketing help, and bouncing editing or design issues off one another. (Since we don’t have an army of copyeditors and proofreaders and artists and billboards at our disposal. Of course, many traditionally published authors don’t have an army, either, merely a team. Well, this is our team.)

#3: Writing a new book must be so easy for the seasoned author. Are you kidding me?! Does anybody realize just how long fans have been waiting for George R.R. Martin to finally release the next Game of Thrones book?! I once read the fantasy novel Hounds of the Morrigan by Pat O’Shea, and it took her 13 years to complete it. Go ask anyone who’s published, and they’ll have at least one tale to regale you with, showing you that even the 5th or 8th or 11th title can be damn hard.

#4: Writers always insert some of themselves into their main character. This is an interesting one, because it’s not automatically false by default of being on this list. In fact, it can be very true — depending on the situation we’re writing about, and whether we’re drawing on personal experiences for a particular arc or plot point or characterization.

For example, when I write about Avery and Madison — the autists in The Order of the Twelve Tribes — of course I’m bringing in certain things from my own existence and perspective. But there’s also a lot I flub — since I don’t live in the fey realm, like Avery, nor am I still 15, like Madison. I wasn’t homeschooled (as they both were), nor am I an orphan (Avery is). So while there are parts of these characters that are definitely close to my personal experiences, there’s just as much that isn’t, at all.

#5: Writers get to spend all day in front of their computer, churning out amazing sentences. Uh, no. Just, nope. Many indie authors have a day job, and write when they can, like on weekends or in the evenings. Others of us may not work outside the home, but there’s still plenty in the home to keep us away from our WIP — children, chores, errands, appointments, pets. The idea that we literally have nothing else to do for 8 hours Monday through Friday besides tap on that keyboard is downright laughable.

And most of these sentences are not amazing the first — second, umpteenth — time around. The final product that you read after buying or borrowing our book has been slaved over, for a copious amount of months. When the sentence in the printed book reads, “Tilting her eyes towards the indigo sky, she drank in the millions of pinpricks of silver,” it’s pretty much a guarantee that in the draft, it read, “She looked up at the stars.”

#6: All of our characters are based on real people. Wellll….yes, and no. There are elements of my sons, my relatives, former neighbors, that make their way into my work, affirmative. Do I actually steal concrete conversations word for word, or map a character’s traits directly after someone I know? No! And while it’s certainly correct that we draw inspiration from real life, the fact is that most of us fictionalize the heck out of so much.

#7: Writers are naturally introverts. Not necessarily. Yes, we tend to pursue our occupation on our own, but that doesn’t mean we never leave the house or speak to another living human. Some of us are very outgoing, enjoy meeting fans, have lots of friends, and are often late to the retirement party or family reunion because they were trying to finish that chapter. It comes down to personality and individual tastes.

#8: All authors must be super rich. 

… … …

If by “rich” you mean we have a bunch of $4 pens from Staples, then, yes, we’re drowning in wealth.

#9: They’re probably pretty full of themselves, because of all their genius and talent and fancy vacation homes in Paris. Okay, unfortunately, yes, some of us are stuck-up pillocks. Don’t judge a book by its cover, though (intentional pun, I swear). Most of us are normal people; our passion and calling happens to be in this field, but we don’t have inflated egos so big they stop us getting through the door of a Walmart. Many of us can be approached on social media, or even in person, and we don’t bite, I promise.

#10: I have no idea. Between it being Monday and Muffin being home with sniffles, and a bunch of new things just getting added to my to-do list, 9 is all I can come up with, folks.

What do you think, fellow authors? Any misconceptions to add?