If I am ever stupid enough or tempted to say “Yes” to becoming a District Superintendent I am to read this:
(Note: I hesitate to share this letter that I wrote to myself as if I am trying to play a reverse psychology game (i.e. “He SAYS he DOESN’T want to be a DS so that must mean he DOES want to be a DS. Kind of like in life when someone says “It’s not about the money, it’s ALWAYS about the money.”). With fear and trembling of such accusations tossed in my general direction, I wrote the following to myself.)
Dear Rob,
If you are reading this letter than that means that you have contemplated the office of District Superintendent. So, think of this letter as a “preemptive strike.” I am writing this letter when your (my) head was clear and there was no pressure to say “yes,” since no offer has currently been made. But here is my advice in a nutshell: DON’T DO IT! For the following reasons, don’t do it:
1). DSs rarely get to baptized people, dedicate babies, officiate at weddings, visit the sick or officiate at funerals (unless it’s a pastor on the district). DSs don’t do “the work” of a pastor in other words. You love doing the work of a pastor.
2) Being a DS eliminates the things you love about preaching. You love preaching through a meaningful series of sermons and leading a church through the seasons of the Christian calendar.
3) DSs spend a lot of time in the car. You hate driving.
4). DSs spend a lot of time in meetings. You hate meetings.
5). DSs spend a lot of time with cranky “sanctified” Nazarenes. I know “Cranky Sanctified” is supposed to be an oxymoron, but it’s not. There are a lot of such creatures out there. They bumped their head on the altar a couple of times during the Nixon administration and haven’t showed an ounce of obedience to the Lord since those moments. They usually don’t like at least some of the following things but they love emailing DS about them: the preacher, the preacher’s rotten kids, the preacher’s bossy husband/wife, the temperature in the sanctuary, the color of carpet in the building, the style of music being sung, the volume of said music, the youth pastor’s hair, ear ring(s), tattoo(s) or his/her wearing of sandals on the wrongly colored carpet in the sanctuary). Remember: Cranky “sanctified” Nazarenes are no fun.
6). Being a District Superintendent Sucks. It literally sucks the energy and life out of a person. I’ve seen it happen. Pastors who have had vision and love for their community are “promoted” to the DS role and all vision and love are sucked right out of them. Don’t let it be you.
7). Remember Nancy Reagan’s campaign: Just Say “No!” Well, just say “NO!” Not “No to drugs” (well say “No to Drugs” too) but Just Say “NO!” to the other bad “D” word: District Superintendent, unless the Lord makes you say “Yes.” And if that’s the case, you had better be dog-gone-tootin’-sure it’s the Lord and not your ego. Make sure it’s the Lord and not that hot-headed, cranky person that just told you about the cold sanctuary. Make sure it’s the Lord and not anything or anyone else.
Signed Yourself,
Rob Prince
