“No, Clare, it’s the Mormon Tabernacle Choir making their annual obscene phone call.”

30. The Christmas Killer – Patricia Windsor

This one started reeeeaaallll slow. I was like, “This is a slasher film abbreviated into book form for young’uns, set the scene quickly,” but it definitely sped up eventually. Psychic twins (one is more psychic than the other), a Poinsettia on each body, a town weirdo with clues, a killer who managed to remind me of Black Christmas, young love, and foreshadowing for that time the slug slowly blorped out of Barb’s mouth- there was a lot in The Christmas Killer and it turned out pretty decent. Definitely worth reading, in July or otherwise.

[image error]

Twiglet munches on the Christmas cucumber.

Mixtape:

1. “at” – Kauan

2. “23 December 1979” – Pentagram Home Video

3. “Christmas Is Now Drawing Near at Hand” – James Elkington

4. “Twenty-Fifth Day of December” – Middle Georgia Four

5. “How to Make Gravy” – All Our Exes Live in Texas

6. “A Mother, A Father, A Baby” – Dixon Brothers

7. “Christmas Carol, Christmas Ray” – Jon Langford and His Men of Gwent

8. “The Christmas Song” – Raveonettes

9. “Blue Christmas” – Elvis Presley

10. “Christmas Time Is Here” – Vince Guaraldi Trio

11. “Christmas 1995” – James Horner (Jumanji)

12. “Oh Holy Night” – Apocalyptica

13. “Red Water (Christmas Mourning)” – Type O Negative

14. “khot” – Kauan

15. “Death May Be Your Christmas Gift” – Rev. A.W. Nix

 

Present that’s not really a present number two – Horace! As Martin from George Romero’s Martin! But herbivore style.

[image error]

Horace-Martin