Got You Mapped: No Ambiguity at All

One sweltering July day several years ago, two young Mormon men knocked on my door. Unaccustomed to Houston’s habitual summer sauna, they appeared to be on the verge of heat stroke, sweating profusely with bright red faces. Before they could either begin their spiel or melt, I asked them if they wanted some cold water. The answer was an emphatic yes.

“Come in out of the heat,” I said. “Please sit down in the air conditioning and cool off.”

They were very grateful for the ice water and ginger snaps I brought them. They told me they had asked for water at another house on the block and been refused. As they sipped the water, I told them I already had a church and was not interested in becoming a Mormon. Then they talked a little about themselves, their backgrounds and what colleges they wanted to attend. My teenage son came in and played the piano for them. When they had cooled off, they left to cover their assigned territory once more.

Another proselytizing group that sends their members door-to-door is the Jehovah’s Witnesses. I worked in a bank for four years with a young man from a secular Jewish family who converted to being a Jehovah’s Witness. On many days, we had good-natured, lively arguments in the lunch room. For example, he told me the Cross is an idol, but I argued that it is a symbol. When I asked him about going door-to-door, he told me the Witnesses have the world mapped out, and they must cover their assigned territory. He also told me it was no easy thing. He laughed and said he had endured every form of rejection.

Since I moved out to the country ten years ago, the Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses haven’t found me--yet. There is no street view of my house online, so the google car hasn’t found me either.

However, there is another entity that maps the world, not to mention you and me too. I just wonder what it is proselytizing: www.what3words.com

From the website: “what3words is a really simple way to talk about location. We have divided the world into a grid of 3m x 3m squares and assigned each one a unique 3 word address. It means anyone can accurately find any location and share it more quickly, easily and with less ambiguity than any other system.”

Three-meter squares (approximately 10’) means that not only is my house mapped, but also the individual rooms. Instead of coordinates, each square has three words assigned to it. For example, 1 Main St., Houston, TX is clown.slim.mats. But, remember, the map is a grid of 10’ squares. So if you want a Uber driver to pick you up at 1 Main St., twenty feet north of the entrance, you can give the 3 words for that exact location, pace.powder.cloth. No ambiguity whatsoever.

Scary, ain’t it?

Of course, the U. N. asserts it’s all in the interest of disaster reporting and humanitarian crises.

Oh, sure. But I can think of a lot more uses than that. There is now, officially, nowhere to hide. If the Powers That Be remain benevolent, fine. If not, mapped could equal zapped. I want my several 10’ square, three word addresses to be the following: leave.me.alone / not.your.business / don’t.you.dare / God.bless.America.
1 like ·   •  1 comment  •  flag
Share on Twitter
Published on July 03, 2018 17:27
Comments Showing 1-1 of 1 (1 new)    post a comment »
dateUp arrow    newest »

message 1: by Wendy (new)

Wendy Bergin It was inevitable, but I still can't believe it. Today, 44 days after I posted this entry, the JW's found me. They knocked at my door at 10:30 this morning. Yep, they got me mapped.


back to top

Podcast: Altitude Adjustment with Leon Davis, Jr.

Wendy Isaac Bergin
I will be a guest on Leon Davis Jr.'s podcast Altitude Adjustment. The podcast will air live on Saturday, June 26 at 2:00 p.m. Central time. We will be discussing my novel Lessons in the Wild, as well ...more
Follow Wendy Isaac Bergin's blog with rss.