Isn't It Dandy When A Shotgun Is Handy?

Pat had to go this way and that the other day. Great Nanny wanted to go into the woods and play. Or look where relatives came from. Maybe she wanted a new chum? Beats me. But the dirt roads were rather creepy.

Found off the beaten path,The roads of Jason's wrath.Anything and everything a chap can think,As further into the roads you sink.
Trespassing allowed.Some stand proud.Pitchforks and toothless grins.Preening those butt chins.
The mind sure flows.Filled with Deliverance and banjos.Squeal like a pig?Rather dance a jig.
Reach the end of the road.Shotguns ready to unload.Big signs in your face.No trespassing is the case.
The squeaking of gates.The animals and their mates.Discovery channel eat your heart out.Was that a backwoods shout?
The hillbillies are coming.Their banjos are strumming.Turn and go back.Avoid such an attack.
More roads to try.They catch the eye.Houses with holes.Some rotting telephone poles.
Big basements in each.Torture chambers in reach.The road bumps along.Please car, hold strong.
No signal at the tone.Clutch that useless phone.A twist and a turn.A stomach may churn.
Eyes widen in fear.You may shed a tear.Hillbillies coming from behind.Pavement! Civilization of some kind.
Go into the scary woods lately at your sea? Pat is kinda dramatic with what came to be. Although one did have a shotgun handy. Getting that in the arse wouldn't have been dandy. Or maybe it was a stick. Hey, you can pick. We'll stay far away from hillbilly land. Dirt roads just aren't grand. Did you ever trespass on a no trespass? I'll avoid that too with my little rhyming ass.
Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.