IWSG: What I Want to Be When I’m a Grownup (Writer)

The first thing a burgeoning writer dreams of is success – awards, the tours, the six-figure-and-up contract, the talk shows, the lists, the fans lined up around the block with your hardcover in hand, followed by movie options – you know, the good life all your hard work is going to lead to, that silver lining celebrity accolade we feverishly chase . . . leading to this month’s Insecure Writers Support Group thought provoker:

OPTIONAL IWSG Day Question: What are your ultimate writing goals, and how have they changed over time (if at all)?

That’s what I wanted - the whole glitzy, adoring pinnacle of author recognition. From the first time I committed pen to ruled notebook paper a lifetime ago, the first time I submitted a hand-typed manuscript in a box to some unknown face in NY who was going to recognize my genius and make me that star! As I sold more books and my contracts got bigger, I gave talks on setting those high goals as carrots to dangle and chase relentlessly. Then I got a taste of that dream and a hard look at what it would cost to reach and sustain it.

Like many (heck, most!) writers, I’m a recluse, an OCD/ADD introvert who likes a small world I’m in control of. The very idea of a hoard of strangers, constant smiling and spotlights scares the snot out of me, but I did those things because I wanted that dream. I did interviews on camera, gave national workshops to full houses, smiled my way through signing hundreds of book copies at marketing events, did an anxiety-filled multi-state publicity book tour my publicist set up and paid for, stood on stage to accept a lifetime achievement award, spent hours I could have been writing to frantically try to keep up with new social medias springing up everywhere, making myself an exhausted, frustrated wreak who kinda wanted to spend a weekend once in a while sitting out in the back yard with the cat, reading a book I wasn’t promoting and not getting up at 4:30 am every single day for 70+ books and 30-odd years.

It took a sidelining knee replacement (with really good drugs) and a workshop on making a business plan to get me to relax enough to REALLY think about the career I wanted to sustain for the rest of my writing years. All the glitzy, stressful, ooooh shiny things fell away. All I really wanted to do all these years later was still the first dream I ever had. I wanted to write books I enjoyed and make a living doing just that - an enjoyable supplement income from the one thing I couldn’t NOT do. It’s still work and plenty of it, and none of it is easy, but cutting away the false trimmings of a success I really didn’t desire gives me the freedom to enjoy it again.And it’s enough for me.

So, to those who chase that brass ring of stardom – good for you! Go for it if it’s your dream. I’ll be cheering you on in the backyard with my cat on my extra day off, drinking coffee and dreaming plot dreams before heading in to my WIP. After sleeping in until 6!

Happy 4th for those of you celebrating!!

The Insecure Writer’s Support Group
Purpose: To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!
Posting: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group day. Post your thoughts on your own blog. Talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. Discuss your struggles and triumphs. Offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. Visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writer - aim for a dozen new people each time.The awesome co-hosts for the July 3rd posting of the IWSG will be Nicki Elson, Juneta Key, Tamara Narayan, and Patricia Lynne!
Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!

Twitter hashtag is #IWSG