Real Life Diagnostics: Would You Keep Reading This YA Fantasy Opening?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through July 14.

This week’s questions:

1. Would you want to keep reading?

2. Is the description too much at this point?

3. Does it sound like Fantasy or is the language too modern?

4. Does the mental and physical state of the protagonist match her actions?

5. Does this opening work?

Market/Genre: YA Fantasy

On to the diagnosis…

Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com