Real Life Diagnostics: Would You Keep Reading This Middle Grade Opening?

Critique By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Two

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through June 30.

This week’s questions: 

1. Does it hook you enough to want to read on?

2. Does it give you enough background to give you a sense of why he’s so nervous?

3. Does the last sentence work if I don’t let the reader know the reasoning behind it immediately.

Market/Genre: Middle Grade

On to the diagnosis…
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com