3 Reasons Why Grief is So Intense

Loss smacks us like a tsunami. It leaves us stunned and shaken, wondering what hit us. Grief can be intense.

 

From the Grieving Heart:

How could this happen?

This can’t be real. You’re going to walk through that door any moment, I just know it.

The tears start to flow. They morph into sobs. I can hear myself screaming.

Yes, I feel sick. My stomach is churning. I’m lightheaded. The room is spinning.

Breathe. Yes, I must breathe. Somehow.

Is this what a broken heart feels like?

No, this can’t be real. You were just here. I swear I can hear your voice.

I’m closing my eyes. Please be there when I open them.

Please.

It hurts – badly.  

 

Grief can be intense. Here are 3 reasons why:

1.  Grief can be intense because it tears the heart.

We’re in this together. Our hearts are connected. There are people we love dearly. When a loved one departs, there is a tearing that occurs. The separation of two objects glued firmly together is messy, and neither object is ever the same.

Loss tears the heart. It can even break and shatter it.

 

2. Grief can be intense because love is strong.

Love lasts. It endures. When someone dies, our hearts love on. We look for them. We listen for their voice.

Then, reality hits. They’re gone. We cry, sob, and even scream. The sudden intensity of grief can make us feel ill. Our hearts cry, “No!”

We loved them. We love them still. Because our love is strong, our grief can be too. We grieve because we dared to love.

 

3. Grief can be intense because loss is powerful.

Loss is shocking and powerful. We’re stunned, even immobilized. Our world has been upended. Nothing is the same. We’re dazed. We move in a fog. We blink and wonder what happened and how we got here.

Loss hurts. We’re made for connection, so we don’t do separation well.

 

What can we do?

What do we do? We grieve. Grief is a natural and normal response to a loss.

We let the tears flow. We let the sobs come. We scream if necessary. Our hearts are expressing our love through grief.

We will never be the same. How could we be? A tearing apart has occurred, and it hurts.

 

Affirmation:

Because my love is deep, my grief may be intense. Tears are natural, and healthy.

 

Adapted from the newly released Caring for Grieving Hearts: Hope and Encouragement for Times of Loss. To watch a brief video about the book, click here.