...and a little heap under the stairs

Went on Thursday to a wonderful, unseasonable apple event at the Harvard Museum of Natural History, with a talk by Rowan Jacobsen, and a heritage cider tasting in the galleries.  Jacobsen began at the beginning, with the co-evolution of flowers and bees, a symbiosis that he compared to Facebook:  the bees think they're getting free nectar, but the flowers have another agenda.  He spoke of the history of pomiculture in America, from seeds to slips, of the chance discovery, loss, and restoration of the great varieties.  I bought his book, Apples of Uncommon Character, on the spot, and I'm rejoicing in it.  It hits all my sweet spots:  wit, style, Lists of All the Things, trees, fruit.

The Ben Davis, we are informed, "has all the charm of a croquet ball ... Excellent for selling to people who have never tried one before."

SweeTango:  "suddenly you're standing there with a skinny core in your hand, looking for a wet wipe."

Orleans Reinette:  "Think of it as the natural chewing gum of French children, circa 1800."

Karmijn de Sonnaville:  "It's like a spherical margarita. ... Re-released as Hurt So Good, it would be unstoppable."

Esopus Spitzenberg:  "My thirteen-year-old son said, "'Wow!  Lychee soda!'"

Cox's Orange Pippin:  "Its grandchildren include Gala, which is to Cox as Drew Barrymore is to John Barrymore."

Gala:  "Hit it right, and Gala will deliver an unforgettable performance.  Other times, it seems to be mailing it in, providing some light, sweet entertainment with no edge."

Hubbardston Nonesuch:  "a touch of the proto-Red-Delicious to it, with that pentagonal shape, leathery hide, and Bazooka Joe flavor."

Blue Pearmain:  "This is the apple Elrond would have tended in his backyard at Rivendell, and it would have been off-limits to any dwarf or hobbit."

Afterward, Eden was generous with the cider tasting:  half glasses, not sips.  There was Cinderella's Slipper in the Minerals Gallery (ooh, shiny!), Ezekiel (100% Kingston Black, "the perfect balance of sweet, tart, bitter, and savory saddle-sweat, like prosciutto") in Microbial Life, and a beautiful deep amber Heirloom Blend Ice Cider in—the Arthropods Gallery?  An ordeal for arachnophobes.  And that's where they put the very nice fruit and cheese and crackers.  I kept examining my plate for cheese mites.  Sadly, I still cannot taste apples in hard cider, or grapes in wine.  They're all just ethanol to my palate.  Or at most, sweet ethanol.  I tried.  What a pity.

The museum had opened the Glass Flowers for the occasion, with the gorgeously creepy display of diseased apples well to the fore. I love the many-times magnified mold, like a ghost forest.

Nine