Swooping In

Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. ~Anne Lamott, American novelist

Dallas here.

It’s happened again. We got a BAT in the house!

Mama and I had just settled down for a nice snoozle when she heard a rattling sound.

At first, she thought it was me, scratching my nails on the floor. But then she saw something fly past her head and she couldn’t hop out of bed fast enough.

“BAT!!” She hollered and raced into the hallway, shutting me inside with the critter.

Gee, Mama, what were you thinking?

Next thing I knew, Mama was back with her butterfly net.

As she opened the door, I escaped, standing just close enough to watch the show.

There was Mama, net in hand, swinging and shouting at Battie, who was swooping and gliding like an airplane in an acrobatics show.

Mama opened a window, hoping Battie would realize he was inside and should have been out, but it didn’t work. She kept trying to snag him in her net, but she got herself so dizzy, she stumbled out of the room … right into Grandma!

It’s a good thing the two of them steadied each other, or they’d have both been on deck.

When Mama got her bearings back, she peeped in her room. No bat.

Uh-oh.

Eventually, after combing the house, she saw him swooping up the stairs. She stunned him with the rim of her net, dropped the net part over him, scooped him up while he was making that angry clicking noise, and carried him outside.

After the eviction, she turned on me.

“Why didn’t you help?” she asked. “Don’t you know bats don’t belong inside?”

Sorry, Mama, No. Birds fly outside, and you don’t chase them down with a net. What’s special about this funny webbed bird?

The next day, Mama called an exterminator.

Part Two

Dallas again.

The exterminator (AKA “Batman”) gave Mama a free estimate, then announced he’d tackle her bat problem for $1260.

What?? When Home Advisor says the Illinois average is $218??

Thanks, but No Thanks.

So, Mama called another guy, who offered to remove Battie and his kin for $2500.

Seriously.

Sorry, Sport, but you’re going in the WRONG direction.

Grandma’s got a call in to a contractor.

I’ll let you know how that goes.