The Fiver | Armchair quackery doesn’t always result in a 100% accurate diagnosis

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Anyone who watched this year’s Big Cup final will have presumably come to the immediate conclusion, just like The Fiver, that Loris Karius played the game having necked a pre-match pint of isotonic sports beverage Night Nurse followed by a couple of large NyQuil chasers. And you’d have certainly hoped that analysis was correct, because at least that way the poor lad will have got himself a decent night’s sleep afterwards. But it turns out that armchair quackery doesn’t always result in a 100% accurate diagnosis. And so The Fiver has been shocked to discover that Karius in fact contested the majority of the second half in a concussed state, suffering from “visual spatial dysfunction”, an ailment which hinders a person’s ability to visually process where things are in space. Now, The Fiver might be a quack, but that can’t be positive news when the day job’s keeping goal, can it.

Related: Concussion may have led to Loris Karius’s calamities, says US hospital

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