No Terror in the Bang

You’re sitting in the room, legs fidgeting, waiting for your name to be called. A cold sweat runs down your back, the edges of the room are hazy and all sounds are muffled as though filtered through a straw. You’re in no physical pain, but your mind is contemplating all that could go wrong in the next hour. Every possible scenario is overplayed, and every negative scenario is played twice. Your heart rate is jacked to the point that if you look down you can see your t-shirt vibrate. Nobody is taunting you, nobody is intimidating you; nobody but yourself. And then your name is called. You enter the new room, brighter than the last, and sit in the chair. Mouth open, the cold instruments examine each tooth. They apply the numbing gel. The needle, a mere prick, barely registers. In thirty minutes you’re walking out of that new room, calmed, wondering why you worked yourself up. The realisation dawns in the form of an Alfred Hitchcock quote: there is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. But the next time you wait in that room, the same feelings arise. This can be applied in many of life’s situations, but it can never lessen those feelings we get right before a feared event. That, readers, is a mystery of the human condition.

We’re more anxious as a society now than at any other time in history. Some may accredit this to the internet, or the rise of the Smartphone which has become an extension of our bodies, and both may be relevant arguments. Our fears are more accessible. Information is available with the press of a button. Ignorance is bliss, and there is no ignorance left when a child can enter YouTube researching topics that make them squirm. But shouldn’t the presence of information ease our minds somewhat?

Perhaps we can blame technology for allowing us to avoid human contact on a more regular basis. Does buying food and clothing online, which is then delivered to the door, erase necessary daily social connection? People argue over who goes up to the counter to pay; not in any way linked to financial loss, but of human interaction. Are our fears rising because there is an alternative to the daunting process of the physical conversation?

Technology has opened up opportunity. Those that do struggle in a social setting can work online, study abroad or meet new people through a range of apps; be they based on gaming, romance or via a shared passion. Nerves lower when a person feels in control of a situation, and people are in the most control when they thrive in a setting. A confident athlete, a successful businessperson, a champion driver; in other environments they may be quiet or anxious, but on their domain they rise. Yet as life puts us in that waiting room so often, there will always be times of anticipation. So what’s the answer? Unfortunately, it is unique to each individual.

We deal with scenarios in different ways. There is no overarching solution. But not shying away from an environment that may make you afraid is the initial rebellion.

First, in the anticipation and analysis period, ask yourself: what type of pain will I be subjected to? If it’s physical, it is likely that you’ve had this pain (or much worse) before in your life, and you conquered the problem. If it’s trauma from a previous experience, once again, you’ve been through this before and you can do it again. Odds are in your favour. There is a high probability that this time won’t be anywhere near as bad, and your last experience made you that much stronger. If it’s emotional, switch your focus to physical. Deep breaths. Movement. Exercise. This is all related to our brain, so switching focus will at the very least require your mind to be occupied alternatively.

The next time you’re in that waiting room, just remember that you’re already in the storm. Once your name is called, you’re free from your anticipation and you can face the fear head on. Look it in the face. The bang is merely a puff of smoke, because you’ve done all this before. And if you haven’t, even better; you’ve got nothing to suggest that it will be of any harm.

Finally, remember that fear is part of the process. It heightens our senses. It makes us feel present. Never apologise for feeling nervous or afraid. Everyone faces these feelings at one point or another. You are not alone. It takes courage to sit in that waiting room. There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it. Often, there is no bang. Our imaginations are far more powerful.

My debut novel, Dortmund HIbernate, is available for pre-order now