Never Apologize, Never Explain

All right, kids, grab a cup of coffee and settle in — I feel a rant coming on.

This post isn't addressed to any one person in particular . . . . I have a few different friends and acquaintances I've got in the back of my mind as I'm writing this, though, so if you think I might be talking to you when I say this — I probably am.

I know, I know, that self-promotion doesn't come easy.  It goes against everything we're taught, really.  We're taught to be modest, not to be boastful, not to be prideful — hell, Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins, if you believe in sin.  (I know I certainly believe in sin, especially on weekends.)

But, we all know that, like it or not, we have to promote ourselves if we've got some cool new book or album or art project out there and we want people to find out about it.  You may not want to toot your own horn, but nobody else is gonna toot the damn thing for you, right?

Right.  So.  What I see way too many people doing is their very best to have it both ways, and so when they do promote themselves, they do it in the most half-assed, stumbling-and-mumbling, self-effacing way possible.

You know what I'm talking about, you've seen people do this:

"Hey, everyone! I'm sorry to keep spamming you like this, but when you get a chance, could you check out my new (story/song/blog post) and let me know if it's any good?  LOL!  Sorry!  Thanks!"

Is this you?  Do you do this?  If so, come here and lean in a little so I can scream this into your ear.  No, closer.  Liiiittle bit closer.

. . . . Knock.  That.  Shit.  Off.

I want you to do this for me, a little thought experiment — I want you to think of someone in your field whose work you really admire.  Someone who you want to be like someday.

Now I want you to imagine the next time they release a new book, etc., that their message to the world about it has that same sorry-to-bother-you, hope-I'm-not-stepping-on-any-toes-here tone to it.

You can't picture it, can you?  It's a little ridiculous, isn't it?

You want to be like them someday?  Awesome — starting acting like them today.  I don't mean you have to act like you're already a famous superstar — but stop acting like asking people to come check out your work is placing some tremendous, horrible burden on them, like you know it's horribly rude to ask them to waste their time on your worthless crap.

Because that's what it sounds like when you do that.  And I know when I encounter that kind of message, I tend to think, "Man, maybe their stuff really isn't that good," and I ignore it.

It comes down to this — either your work is ready to have other people see it, or it's not.  If it's not, that's nothing to be ashamed of — quietly pass it around to your friends, your beta readers, whomever, get some feedback, work on it until you honestly do believe it's good enough for people to spend their time and maybe even their money on.

And if you do believe that, then act like it.  Give your work the respect that it deserves, and instead of talking about it with your tail between your legs, be happy about it!  Be enthusiastic, excited!  Make other people excited, let them know, hey, guess what, I made this really cool thing, and remember that you're doing them a favor by letting them know about it.  You're letting them in on something exclusive, something just for them.  That's how you feel when you hear from your idols about their next project, isn't it?

They never would have gotten anywhere if they'd promoted themselves like they didn't mean it.  And you never would have gotten to find out how awesome they are.

Act like you're worth people's time, or stop insulting them by asking them to waste their time.  That simple.

That is all.  You may go about your business now.  Enjoy the rest of your day.

(P.S. I would be terribly remiss, not to mention a tremendous hypocrite, if I didn't take a moment while I've got you here to remind you:  right now, you can enter for a chance to win one of my books right here at BLOODLETTERS as part of the Coffin Hop Blog Tour, and if you're in the Seattle area, you should come to my Halloween reading on Monday, October 31st, 8:00pm, at The Reading Room!  Hope to see you soon!)