Real Life Diagnostics: Would You Keep Reading This Opening Scene?

Critique By Maria D'Marco

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and we diagnose it on the site. It’s part critique, part example, and designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, please check out these guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Three

Please Note: As of today, RLD slots are booked through June 23.

This week’s questions:

Is the internalization, description, or narration too much at this point?

Is there too much background that sounds like an infodump?

Am I telling too much?

Would you want to keep reading?

Market/Genre: Unspecified

On to the diagnosis…
Read more »Written by Janice Hardy. Fiction-University.com