Trying to turn off the “shouldas” in my brain

Good afternoon!

Yesterday was my 56th birthday, and I received so many birthday wishes I felt truly grateful and blessed. It was a great day. In fact, it was so great  that, even though I had decided I was going to work, I ended up only putting a half day of work in.

For the rest of the day, I focused on other things… but in the back of my mind, I still had that little voice saying “shouldas” at me.

“You shoulda worked.”

“You shoulda written more.”

“You shoulda cleaned house.” (Really? On my birthday?)

Seriously, that voice is the biggest bitch I know. She can tell me off and make me feel bad like nobody else can. One of my perpetual goals is to work to keep her silenced, so that I am truly present and joyful for whatever is occurring in my life at any given time.

After stuffing a gag in her shouty mouth yesterday I had a blast. I didn’t accomplish much beyond eating within all of my macros on My Fitness Pal. I’ve lost 23 lbs so far this year (I’ve hesitated to shout about it, because I’m superstitiously worried about jinxing myself)–and the weight loss is one of the best birthday presents I received yesterday.

Here’s to more weight loss, more joy, and more writing.

Brief, not-detailed update: my secret proposal has now been sent off to a select location in New York. Wish it luck! Whether it ends up being traditionally published, or if I decide to self-publish, I just know that the readers who follow my work will enjoy it and something amazing is going to happen. I’ll share news whenever I have any.

Have a great week, and don’t let any of your “shouldas” weigh you down.