To NaNoWriMo or Not?

That is the question I keep asking myself. Maybe you are asking yourself 'What the heck is NaNoWriMo?'

National Novel Writing Month is a wonderful writing prompt in the form of a contest where all you have to do to win is write 50,000 words. Sound easy? Sound impossible?

The first year, I completed the challenge I wrote a novella in which a young woman learns that the magical powers she has inherited can be used for good or evil. The second year, I wrote most of Shadowfall: Dark Desires. Last year, I wrote the sequel to Between Love and Lust called Between Duty and Desire.

I love the challenge of meeting the word count. I love the comraderie on the local and worldwide boards. I love obsessing about writing and shutting up that internal editor who criticizes everything.

With only 5 more days left until the November 1 start date, I am still on the fence about participating this year. In truth, I am on the fence about the whole writing thing. With my to be revised pile growing, I don't really need yet another thing to revise. With Dark Heritage yet unsold, I wonder if I can produce something worth trying to sell.

Usually when I walk into a book store I think to myself 'If so many people can get published I can too.' A few weekends ago, I walked into a book store and wondered what right I had thinking I can get published with so much already out there and so many authors with better works still fighting for that elusive contract.

None of these doubts are new. I think every author does battle with them on a regular basis. A friend once told me I should only write if I have a story to tell. I'm not sure I do. I love making up stories and exploring characters and plots, but there is no burning desire within me to tell any particular story. Worse yet, I fully realize the limitations of my skills at present.

But there's the rub. If I don't keep writing, my skills won't improve. If I don't keep producing works to sell I might miss an opportunity like the Big Book of Bizarro.

I can't go long without daydreaming a story. I feel the urge to write although it is substantially muted due to other demands on my time and energy. I can just image the advice of some of my favorite podcasters.

So I remain undecided. To write or not to write, that is the question.