Put Some Mustard in Your Shoe...and other crazy things Amazon is making us do by Felice Stevens

When I was young, one of my favorite books was Beastly Boys and Ghastly Girls, a collections of satirical, sometimes gruesome but always funny poems about bad children. A favorite poem was, Nothing to Do, by Shel Silverstein. It was short and silly and I've reproduced it with all recognition and copyright ownership to Shel Silverstein:
Nothing to do?
Nothing to do?
Put some mustard in your shoe,
Fill your pockets full of soot,
Drive a nail into your foot,
Put some sugar in your hair,
Place your toys upon the stair,
Smear some jelly on the latch,
Eat some mud and strike a match,
Draw a picture on the wall,
Roll some marbles down the hall,
Pour some ink in daddy’s cap —
Now go upstairs and take a nap.



Now you may ask, why the heck is Felice reprinting this silly poem and how does it relate to writing?

Because lately, this is how Amazon is acting. Like an out of control child with no repercussions. Reviews have disappeared, readers are unable to post reviews, authors are unable to sell their books in certain countries pre-orders gone awry. Perhaps though, the most terrifying is that there are many, many authors who have participated in Kindle Unlimited (KU) and have had, with no rhyme or reason, no explanation, their page reads stripped and their royalties held.
For those who don't know, KU pays authors by page reads. Yes you can still buy the book outright but for authors who write longer books, sometimes they make more money off of KU if their book is longer.
When authors have questioned Amazon, they are met with a stock response, such as "Your account has shown increased activity we have deemed suspicious). Amazon has not given these authors back their royalties and we are helpless in their iron fist. In some instances, they have suspended author's accounts, also with no explanation.
We cannot sue them; under our TOS when we agree to publish we agree to only arbitration in Seattle. 

I have no beef with KU—it has helped me in the past and I won't deny it can be a money maker. And for readers who read voraciously, it certainly helps. But I have never liked the fact that I have no idea what I will be paid month to month, I have no idea how Amazon makes up that pot every month. Amazon does not tell us this but we know that KU books are more heavily weighted in rankings and the algorithms so that you see them on the Amazon lists first. Fair? Not really. Because an author can SELL more books yet their rank is worse than an author who is only having their book read and returned. And for me? As a person who is in the business of writing, I want to sell.

Amazon also makes it harder every month to sell on their platform by refusing to look into accounts of authors who buy reviews, who stuff their books and have figured out other delightful ways to scam the system. They are quick to penalize authors who want to change their pre-order date and arbitrarily hold up books in the publishing queue with NO explanation. 

So all this may have been a VERY long winded way of telling you that I will no longer be putting my books on Kindle Unlimited. I cannot take the chance of Amazon willy-nilly deciding because I have a spurt of loyal readers, that I have unusual account activity and they will withhold my royalties. I will still sell on Amazon of course, but I will no longer be exclusive. When I release, it will be on iBooks, Kobo and Nook. I hopefully can entice readers over there with sales and promotions that are easier to come by. 

This isn't KU-bashing. Everyone has their own reasons for using it and I say more power to you. Like I stated earlier, I've used KU and had success. That's what the beauty of indie publishing is all about—that we, as authors, have that choice. I am taking my choice and putting my books in the hands of as many readers as possible to buy my books.

And with that being said, have you seen the gorgeous cover for Frankie-Unforgettable? It's coming in early June!