Time’s Up

For all of time women have been vulnerable to men’s advances… and I use that term with reluctance. Why? Because it seems so benign. There’s no threat in an “advance,” right?

For our whole history, women have come under the “protection” (here I have to snort) and rule of men. At the highest economic levels we were traded like cattle to keep the peace or forge relationships. At the lowest level we were raped at will with no recourse.

Then came the 21stCentury. Who knew it was going to take this many years for people to figure out that women’s bodies belong to women? Our bodies (our souls, our hearts, and our minds) belong to US. We do not need men telling us what to do, how to act, what to think. And if one of them gets a little horny, it’s not our job to make sure their frustration ends in orgasm instead of murder.

According to the Stats Man, “intimate partner violence— violence committed by legally married, separated, divorced, opposite and same sex common-law, dating partners (current and previous) and other intimate partners —has been consistently identified as one of the most common forms of violence against women, both nationally and internationally.” What the hell? You mean the people who SAY they love us are the ones who are hurting us? Yup. And when we tell them to stop, they tell us we’re bitches.

Put in historical context, we are seeing the dawn of a new age. This is the first time in our history that we have had the right to say NO. And men – not all men – are having a hard time accepting our boundries.

How it is that it has taken until the 21 century for women to gain this ground? And how will we protect the ground we have gained from the emotionally fragile, angry and fearful men who would re-take it from us?

I believe social media has played a large part in the gains we have made. Now that we can tell THE WORLD when we are attacked, now that we are calling out the misogynists that have blamed us (our sexiness, our choice of dress, our come-hither looks) for their lack of self control, we are seeing progress. Hashtags like #MeToo and #TimesUp help us to label our sadness and fury.

So here it is, it simple words: Boys, keep your sticky paws off us. Unless we explicitly say, “come and get it,” we are not up for your rubbish anymore.

I saw a tweet the other day that perfectly describes how our world is changing. A mother wrote that after watching Sleeping Beauty with her very young son, he was aghast that the Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty without her permission. He pointed out that since she was asleep, she could not have consented.