What Type are You?

I tried out for the tennis team my freshman year in college, and was shocked by the outcome.

As I remember it, the small town in central Massachusetts where I grew up didn’t even have a tennis team until the year I started high school.

The summer after 6th grade, a few friends and I took tennis lessons offered by the community rec program, and we loved it.

So three years later, when one of our gym teachers decided to start a tennis team, we happily joined. I have no memory of how we ranked against other schools, because I was just in it to have fun with my friends.

College level tennis was very different and I felt out of my league. Most of my classmates who tried out grew up playing tennis at their parents’ country club or at private school, and they showed up in tennis whites. I had never even owned a tennis skirt, and normally played in cut-offs and an old t-shirt.

After several days of tryouts, the list was posted at the gym. I was hoping to squeak by and make JV, but to my astonishment, I was one of only two freshmen who made the college Varsity team.

The first week of practice was brutal. Not only were the workouts far beyond anything I’d ever done, but the upper classmen weren’t exactly friendly or welcoming. In a word, the atmosphere was cutthroat. Tennis was no longer fun and I came to dread it.

So a couple weeks into the season, I explained to the coach why I was quitting and I joined the dance company instead.

Everyone thought I was nuts, including the coach, but I didn’t care. I was happy again.

Throughout my life, I have struggled with similar experiences.

For example, I’ve never worried that much about grades. At least not enough to motivate me. As a kid, I mostly found them arbitrary and meaningless. Years later as an adult, when I was required to evaluate my English Lit students, I still felt grades were mostly arbitrary and meaningless. Consequently, I gave everyone who tried hard an A and all the others received a B. Needless to say, the administration wasn’t pleased.

As an author, I usually give all books I read 5-star ratings, unless I really don’t like the book – then I give it 4 stars.

I enjoy playing board games and even winning, but if I lose, I honestly don’t care. Same goes for watching local sports. In fact, I usually root for the underdog.

For a long time, I wondered what was wrong with me. Why am I not more competitive? Why would I rather not keep score, not rate others’ work, not grade students?

Why did I care so much about how the other person was feeling?

Then someone finally told me that I had a Type B personality.

Everyone has heard of the Type A personality, because A is revered in our culture. In fact, achieving the American Dream essentially requires a Type A effort. Type As are driven, disciplined, focused, over-achieving, and most importantly, competitive. In other words, Type As are SUCCESSFUL.

From a very young age, we pick up sociological cues telling us to strive for Type A . . . be an A!

But lately the world is finding out that the lesser known Type B – typically more relaxed, flexible, emotional, and empathetic – may be the better way to go.

How can that be you ask?

Well, experts have found that if you’re a Type B…

“1. You might be healthier.

2. Everyone wants you on their project.

3. You’re a better friend.

4. You take the long view.

5. You do well with risk and failure.

6. You see the good in people.

7. Creativity flows from you.

8. You know how to enjoy the moment.

9. You’re generally more satisfied with life.

10. You put new people at ease.”**