I think folk got me messed up

Misconception #1:  I am single by choice.

A lot of people seem to think this of me.  It is only partially true.  I choose not to waste people's time when I am not interested in them.  Isn't that fair?  That's really all I ever wanted from people for the majority of my 20s.  Now, I date a lot less frequently.  And I am (by and large) fine with that.

But it's not my choice that people I like don't like me back.  That's just circumstance, right?

Took this young bul* out to a French restaurant this summer.  Thought the conversation went well.  Thought there was some interest there.  Haven't heard from him since.  Disappointed?  Hell yeah.  But I'm not going to weep in my Absolut over it.

Had this other bul earlier this year, even introduced him to some friends, had some good times.  I just get played left and right by old boy now.  Like seriously, just say you're not interested if it's all like that.

*I like saying "bul" because it reminds me of my prophyte from Philly who I miss sometimes.

It's not choice that the people I want to build with don't be feeling me like that.  Neither is it the "choice" of the dudes who have been into me don't get much of a chance.

I know me.  A dude who is feeling me might not have any earthly idea that I am crazy than a mofo.  And that's fine.

The difference is, maybe, that at the age of 32 in the year of 2011, I don't deal with my loneliness in the same way.  I'm not constantly depressed because I'm single.  Thanks to the work of Dr. Judith Orloff, I'm learning how to transform my negative emotions into positive ones.