Meltdowns Among the Miracles

I’ll be completely honest with you. Today, I don’t feel like a person who ought to be writing a blog representing Jesus.

Lots of reasons.

Here’s one: I had to pay a visit to a children’s hospital in Providence today. For all the boldness I display when I write about faith, I’m a nervous old woman driving “into the city.” Sure, I can face down challengers to my faith, but put me into unfamiliar traffic patterns and I’m quivering like a Jello salad at a Baptist pot-luck.

Having driven there recently, I was confident I knew what to do but when I arrived at the parking garage, the turnstile was up and no matter how often I pressed the button, no ticket appeared.

I felt the pressure as the line behind me grew, so I pulled in, but all at once realized I was now in the parking garage area with no ticket to get myself out. Of course, there are no humans in the parking booths. So, this bold woman of faith kind of flipped out.

Doing an immediate U-turn, I pulled into the exit line. Parking in this garage is free for the first 30 minutes and I’d only been in the entry way for five, so I knew I didn’t owe a dime. When the turnstile lifted for the car in front of me, I hit the gas and sped through on his tail. The turnstile almost hit me on its way down, but I escaped and found a spot in the next parking garage with a working ticket meter.

Then, I had a meltdown in my car before walking into the hospital. (Which is where my co-worker explained there’s another button to push if the ticket doesn’t appear and a nice voice takes care of the whole thing. Who knew?)

This is me. There are moments I feel full of the Holy Spirit. The way before me is clear. Words fall into place and I can navigate spiritual deep-water.

And other moments, I’m looking at the extra pounds that won’t budge in my full-length mirror, scowling at articles on how to make my email list GDPR compliant for readers in the EU before the end of the month, trying to stifle cranky comments about changes to my day job, and turning to Facebook for comfort instead of my Bible (big mistake.)

How in the world did God entrust the furthering of His Kingdom and the spread of the gospel to people like me?

On the way into work, I listened to Luke 9 on CD in my car. Talk about a wild ride of a chapter! First, Jesus gives his apostles power and authority over demons and diseases. Like, wow! Heady stuff for fishermen and former tax collectors!

Their activity catches the attention of Herod, who has only recently beheaded John the Baptist. Not attention the disciples wanted, I’m sure. A bit more nerve-wracking than traffic.

Then, Jesus feeds the five thousand. The apostles’ minds must have been spinning.

Suddenly, then, Jesus is asking them who they think He is and talking about His upcoming death, warning them that to follow Him means taking up their own crosses. Which is it, Jesus? Miracles or death? Victory over demons or the way of the cross? I can’t imagine the whispered conversations they must have been having around the fire at night.

One verse later, Peter, John, and James witness the Transfiguration. Privileged and humbled, they must have been.  But not long after, they’re arguing about who among them is the greatest.

There are always meltdowns among the miracles. Some days we’re exercising authority over demons and diseases, but the next moment we’re praying for strength to diet and exercise our own lazy limbs. One moment we’re praising and proclaiming Jesus, the next we’re panicking in a parking garage.

This is us. The people of His own choosing. I wouldn’t have picked us to use to build the church, but who am I?

He is all. And He knows that working through us is all the more evidence that He deserves the glory.

People who know me aren’t at all surprised that I flipped out in Providence today. What amazes them is when God works through me. I’m sure it testifies to them every time of the reality of the Almighty, because they know I’m not “all that.”

Truth is, I’m not a person who ought to be writing a blog about Jesus, but He chose to use me this way anyhow. And if you follow Him, He’s choosing to use you, too, in the lives of the people around you.

Truth is, left to my own, I would have selfishly squandered my life, spent it entirely on me. But Jesus invited me into His adventure and lets me join in along the way, despite the many times I fail.

We need to stop searching for heroes. We need to stop trying to be heroes or waiting for our own perfection to emerge before we step out in His name.

We must be willing to be panicked bumblers following Jesus because there are miracles waiting amidst the meltdowns.

The first miracle we’ll find is God at work in our midst as it says in Zephaniah 3:17 ESV, “The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.”

What song does He sing over you tonight? Do you trust His Word that He rejoices over you with gladness? Will you let Him quiet you with His love? This is His story, after all, and He invites us along.

What an incredible God we serve, yes?

(Oh, and if you live in the EU and you subscribe to my blog, you’ll receive an email from me shortly asking you to re-subscribe in order to remain on my list. This is to comply with the GDPR laws enacted in the EU. Once I figure out how to do it!)

Thank you, all for reading what I write. You’ve no idea how much it means to me. Lori

Meltdowns among the Miracles https://t.co/7sqw3HbWn1 How did He ever entrust US with the gospel? #Jesus #amwriting #Miracles

— Lori Roeleveld (@lorisroeleveld) May 17, 2018