Blogging on the Edge…

Once again, I couldn't find one topic that could hold my interest for a good seven hundred words, so I'm scouring the net for news and information to share. It's all part of my new non-profit organization, Filling Up the Cerebelum's Kavern with Useless Particulars.

First, the world is about to become host to seven billion humans. According to the New York Times, (because the Times is all about knowing everything about everyone), the earth didn't reach one billion until the early 1800s, and didja know that most of the population in the early 1800s were dukes (mostly hard-hearted and cynical) and red-haired impoverished misses who… talked… with…pauses (because everything I know about history I learned from Barbara Cartland). We hit four billion in 1974, five billion in 1987, six billion in 1998, and hoo-ah, we're about to roll Lucky 7! The article goes on to say that we'll hit ten billion by the end of the century, but I think we need to shoot for 11 billion, and then we'd be rolling craps, and the money would really start to flow.

We Are the World!

The rest of the article is actually pretty boring. Needs lots of food, blah, blah, blah. High fertility rates, yawn! Dirty water? I know, stop me if you heard THAT one before. Anyway, one more useless bit of trivia for a mundane Monday!

I played Angry Birds for the first time last week. I was in the airport and extremely bored, and Scrabble wasn't cutting it, so I loaded up Angry Birds. I don't like this game. It's very hard. My birds never flew high enough, and I think physics is involved in determining trajectory and velocity. I tried to find Angry Birds cheats on the web, but ended up hosed. I did master the first phase of level one, but level two is kicking my angry bird butt, so any hints or help would be appreciated.

Gawker has a fascinating piece on hackers going after kiddie porn users. OpDarkNet is marching into Lolita City, which sounds a whole lot like a video game to me. Apparently Lolita City lives in the anonymous shadow world, called "dark net" a node on the Net created to protect those wacky Arab Spring protesters so that governments couldn't go after them. And now, the dark net has become its own sort of Sin City, home to cybercriminals, hackers, pedophiles and drug dealers.

What's actually sort of creative is that the hackers uploaded clips from "To Catch A Predator" with racy, kiddie titles so that the creeps would think they're legit pics and videos. Actually, I think it'd be pretty cool if the videos could read off user names and IP addresses and then when the perv began viewing the clip, the voice of God could announce: "What the f*ck are you doing, Bob? Do you think this is healthy, Bob? The cops are going to bust down your door in 3 seconds, and your career is over.." And then a motherly voice could come on. "Bob, this is your mother. This is disgusting, Bob. Did you learn this from your father?"

The possibilities are endless, and I predict a future SVU episode featuring this very plot. Actually, there was a similar plot in SVU a few years back, but the hacker was a perv, and the computer graphics were 1970. Hello! We're in the next century now! Hire a real geek if you want it done right.

According to Market Watch, the EU once again has a plan to settle the Greek debt crisis. Ha, ha. This is about the seventh time in about four months that I've read that sentence and each time, much like those people who predict the end of the world, it doesn't happen. Much like the US Super Committee who is supposed to trim 1.2 trillion off the US deficit over the next ten years. They have until Thanksgiving to come up with their plan, or there will be no Thanksgiving, because Washington is overrun with turkeys and none of them want to serve themselves up on a political platter.

Deficit Supercommittee At Work

I myself can envision a few Congress-folk on a political platter, preferably left alone in the "dark net" with the voice of God playing in their ear for all eternity. And I don't even write suspense. I bet Dee could come up with some really good tortures, because underneath that sweet, cheerleader smile lurks the mind of a really twisted soul.

And that's the "Filling Up the Cerebelum's Kavern with Useless Particulars" report for the day.

What do you think? Is the earth going to survive eleven billion (because I think the educated professors who actually predict this using elaborate mathematical models are wrong)? Do you play Angry Birds? Do you like it? What's Your Personal Procrastination Pastime of Choice? If you could sick the hackers on a group of people, who would they be and why? And lastly, will the EU ever figure this one out? Will the Germans bail out the rest of the PIGS (and who comes up with these acronyms? Mad Magazine?)? Will the US Supercommittee do the adult thing and work together to create a feasible fiscal framework? Do you like alliteration? Do you start alliterating and then find yourself unable to stop?

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