The characters inside me by Felice Stevens

I'm sorry if this is a bit long, but it's been inside me for a while now.

I recall when I first started reading in the MM genre and the excitement of discovering books that I became so enamored with, I'd email my friends and tell them: "You must buy these books. I love these characters. Let me tell you why." From Adrien and Jake to Ty and Zane, Nick and Perry to Julien and Cameron...Sam and Jory to Jake and Brandon, these books touched me. The characters stayed with me. These books and more became re-reads that now, even five years later, I happily lose myself in. I didn't forget them when the book ended.

A few weeks ago I was discussing this with some close writer friends. We were talking writing process and how deeply entwined we become in our character's lives. How these "people" aren't only made up characters in the pages of a book, they live in our minds and our hearts. You've probably seen our posts about our books and how we "fall in love" with the book we're writing, or how the characters affect us. I'm here to say it isn't a joke.  

As author, we don't say this lightly or to tease readers. Writing is such a solitary profession, it makes us happy to share these emotions with the people we feel will understand it the most: our readers. Nothing brings me greater joy than hearing my books made someone laugh, cry or, yes, even rage over a character's action.

Some people have told me my guys are frustrating and that they get so angry at them they want to knock some sense into their heads. I've gotten emails and private messages from readers apologizing for their low reviews, stating "so and so made me so angry. I yelled at him while I was reading the book." or "I couldn't stand so and so. He made me ragey." Honestly? I love those reviews. Why? Because I've made the reader feel something. No one can love every book—it isn't possible. So if you get angry or upset or cry because of something the character has done, know that I've probably felt those same emotions too, while writing the book. But people are flawed and imperfect. They make stupid decisions with bad consequences. Isn't that life? And isn't that what makes a book worth reading?

I've been editing Frankie—Unforgettable, book three of the Man Up series and this book—Aaron's story especially—made me cry while writing it. Some, but not all of my books have had that affect on me—the ending of A Walk Through Fire, Ash and Luke's reunion in After the Fire, Oren's coming out to his parents in One Call Away and the barn scene in All or Nothing. These men and the crises they go through are as real to me as if, well, they were real people. If I talk about them on social media, it's because I love them and want to share my feelings. One of the most wonderful things of being an author is to convey the love we have for our characters, because if they don't excite us; if we don't want to talk about them and their journey, how can we expect the reader to want to share it with us?

Writing is a business of course. Books cost money—lots of money to publish. Authors write and publish books to make money. But for some of us, the books are even more than dollars and cents. They are a part of our hearts. We live and breathe them for the months that it takes to write their story and then go through the rigorous editing process. So I hope you forgive me if I talk about them a bit too much. I found this quote from Mark Dawson's Self Publishing group and thought it appropriate, so I'll leave you with it: