A Summary of 2017--Part 1

PART 1
If I were to try to sum up 2017 in a few words, I'd say "It was overwhelming".I mean, 2017 caught me by storm in far too many ways. Storms for which I was not prepared. Although, some good came out of the year, the majority was bad. Very bad. I have decided to break this 2017 Summary up into 4 parts.
Part One: Convoluted in love.Part Two: Corrupt in employment.Part Three: Crazy in daily life.Part Four: Complex in emotions.
With that said, there were some moments that defined my year in 2017. Moments that elucidated various things, and in turn, were the catalyst to my mental-emotional ups and downs.Today, I'll share with you the good, the bad and the ugly of Part One of my 2017 Summary.

In order to start my 2017 Summary I have to rewind the clock a bit further to 2016.

At around Christmas 2016 I decided to try out the dating scene one more time. In the transition from 2016 to 2017 I met and went on dates with a few fellows. Said dates amounted to nothing. I also spoke to many guys ... all of that, effete.You see, earlier in 2016 I had met a man (we'll call him J) who I thought was exactly what I wanted and needed. As it turned out, J only wanted ME because I reminded him of the wife he lost to cancer. As unfortunate as that was, I did not plan—nor did I want—to be seen as someone else's replacement. When this came to light, I called that relationship quits. While it was a bit more intricate than that, that was the gist of it.
So, in January 2017 I met another guy.Lord have mercy, was this man FIIIIIINE !We'll call him N.N was, quite literally, an actor and model. But on top of that, N was charismatic, intelligent, sweet, funny and thoughtful. So many great qualities. However, this guy didn't know what he wanted out of a relationship or even if he wanted one to begin with. Furthermore, it was clear that being in a relationship was his last priority. N was too focused on his acting career. Which would have been fine, had he not continually used "relationship language".Things like, "I just want to be with you.", "I miss you.", "I want you.", "I need you.", "You are everything.", "You're the only one for me." so on and so forth. Unfortunately, N's actions didn't match up with his words. Every day he proved how I was pretty low on his totem pole of life. The sad part was that I was really in to this guy. I mean, he had me wrapped around his little finger.But, not for long. I got fed up with being last. I refuse to be strung along vainly. That's the gospel truth. Anyone that knows me, knows that. I have no patience for that type of shit.The way I am set up in relationships is that I don't ask for much. I'm not the needy type or the kind of girl that wants you around all the time. But, I DO NEED TO KNOW that I am your one and only , your first priority (after kids, if you have them) AND that I mean something to you .Suffice it to say that I called it quits. Once again my heart was broken. But, I would much rather have a broken heart than be treated as if I meant nothing.
After that, I dated some guys. Fruitless ventures yet again. It seemed like every guy that I met had their needs, wants and priorities set in places that didn't match up with mine. 
One day, among all this turmoil, my best male friend—named A—professed his unending love for me. I realized that yes ... this could be something. And of course I loved him. A was my best male friend for crying out loud. So, I decided to give it a shot even though it would have been a long distance relationship.However, in the process of that I discovered that A may very well be in love with me, but his way of seeing things and approaching a possible relationship with me was " iffy " at best. A couldn't decided what he wanted out of our union if were ever to transpire.Furthermore, A went from being my best guy friend to being a sexual deviant.I was disillusioned, to say the least. It was then that I realized that I had to let him go. FOR ME. I had to end our friendship and potential relationship because HE was a mess and I needed to save myself.
Again, my heart was broken and again I dated. More "going nowhere" type things arose.
Then, I met a guy we'll call W.
W wasn't the god-like man that N was. This by no means implies that I didn't find him attractive, because I do. Very much so.He wasn't my best friend like A was. He wasn't what I thought I wanted and needed like J.W was just a normal guy. Your average Joe, only incredibly handsome although he didn't know it.