Even more complicated introspection

I am sure this will amuse Wolfe, so please do enjoy.

I had some dark moments today whilst contemplating the recent developments.  I became aware of physically missing somebody, and did not like it at all.  This was for no rational reason, since I am not actually in a relationship.  Our beautiful and until now very civilised pavanne developed somewhat, when it became apparent that I lack any rational self-control of my reactions within about four feet of this person.

This is seriously weird.  I have never been in a serious relationship, nor any particularly lusty ones as I am usually very close friends with anyone who gets near enough to touch me, and I am on entirely new ground with this series of sensations.

Therefore, I wondered, am I capable of such a relationship? Am I safe to roll with it, since I do not know the outcome?

Then there is the matter of explaining Ina to him.  I am somewhat concerned about that, since I myself hated the notion of fame until I had thought about the Wolfe issue for at least two or three years – there was a lot to think about.

I then went into a negativity spiral for about an hour – it is very easy to do this when doing this job as it is quite intense.

This is a serious, beautiful and very kind person, and I have no idea what to do with any of that.  This upsets me.  The bitter thinking of a normal person upsets me.  The idea of upsetting him upsets me.

I don’t really understand any of this, or why life is so complicated at the moment, but I guess life is strange and kind of poetic.

Filming starts tomorrow.

Ina

The post Even more complicated introspection appeared first on Blogging Ina Disguise.