The book 'Helter Skelter' by Arun D Ellis

Descent 10

Louis had been disappointed but not surprised to find that Jenna had reported back to his mother that he was 'gaunt, wired and twitchy'.

As a result, he'd had the maternal telephone lecture about falling asleep in front of the PC or with a book in his lap not being the same as getting a proper night's sleep. When she'd threatened a visit if he didn't promise to be more sensible he'd complied with alacrity and got himself to bed at a decent hour. That he'd needed the help of a few shots to achieve release from a busy brain was neither here nor there.

In the grip now of an alcohol-fuelled deep sleep, he was dreaming; groaning and threshing about, the movements not sufficient to wake him.

"Herr Hitler," he said, not at all surprised to see the man alive and well.

He looked around, saw a field, flower beds, tables and chairs and benches and a few other people scattered round. No-one seemed to notice Hitler or that Louis was wearing pyjamas or if they did they were making a good job of hiding it.

"Hello Louis," Hitler said affably. "How have you been keeping?"

"I'm good, thank you," said Louis, a little confused; this was not how he had imagined him speaking, "do I call you Adolf, or Hitler or the Führer?"

"Most people call me the Führer. I allow some to call me Herr Hitler but you can call me Adolf, like my dear friend August."

" Kubizek?" said Louis.

"How are your studies, Louis?" asked Gampy Jags, appearing from behind Hitler.

Louis started, he hadn't been aware of his great grandfather, but there he was, strong and upright, resplendent in black SS dress uniform, "Christ, Gampy, you'll get us arrested!"

"All will be fine, Louis," said Gampy, "just listen to the Führer."

"Thank you, Oberleutnant Jaeger," said Hitler, "but I wish to speak to Louis alone." He smiled benignly, waiting until Gampy Jaggs had retreated some distance before saying, "I always did find all that ceremonial shit tiresome."

Louis responded tartly, "From the film footage I could've sworn you loved it."

"Ah," said Hitler, leaning back, "that was Goebbels, he liked the look of the thing."

"But you loved the power?"

"Tell me Louis, wouldn't you want the power to change things for the better?"

"For the betterment of whom, precisely?"

"Ah," said Hitler, brushing the question aside, "that's Mr. Churchill and the Jewish cabal that surrounded him talking. I made Germany a country worth living in."

"Mein Kampf is riddled with anti-Jewish stuff and it's in all your speeches. You planned to deprive them of their wealth, and their power and ultimately exterminate them."

"Sometimes you have to say things in a certain way to get the attention of the masses," said Hitler, smoothly. He started to walk away, "You shouldn't believe all the rubbish from your Mr. Churchill or that gangster, Roosevelt."

Louis rubbed his head, ran after him, "Where are you going? Why am I wearing pyjamas?"

Hitler ignored the question, saying instead, "The British and Americans made fun of my moustache, said I looked like that fool Chaplin but I used to have a bushy moustache, it came right out both sides, luxuriant and strong, but then one day the gas mask didn't seal and the gas got in. It was almost fatal. From then on I trimmed my moustache like others in the trenches. But what would Churchill or that cripple Roosevelt know of the trenches? I ask you, is this the mark of a fool or a badge of courage?"

"Why am I wearing pyjamas?"

"Here, take this." He watched as Louis shrugged into the beige trench coat with its abundance of epaulettes and storm flaps. He said, his voice musing, "One thing they did get right, I did come from the masses. Before the war I, like them, was poor and often starving, struggling to make ends meet."

"Yeah okay," said Louis, fiddling with buttons, "so you blamed the Jews, I get it."

"Silly boy, not the individual Jew, but the Jewish economic system that the world was slipping into, thanks to the rapid growth of the world's banking elite."

"Right," said Louis. Properly clothed he was now looking for an escape route.

An ice-cream vendor arrived next to him. The man seemed unsurprised to see them.

Hitler looked delighted, saying with a smile, "Two 99s."

"Oh yes!" said Louis, thrilled in spite of himself.

"£5.60 mate," said the ice cream man.

"You know me?" asked Hitler, winking at Louis, who was attacking his flake with gusto.

"Of course, Charlie Chaplin."

"So you'll know I'm good for it, put it on my slate."

"Is that Stalin?" asked Louis, ice cream on his nose.

"HA!" snarled Hitler, turning to glare at the heavy set man, "He turns up everywhere I go, won't leave me alone," he waved a fist, shouted, "I'll kick your fucking head in, commie bastard." He plunged his face into his ice cream, lifting it up to see Stalin twirling his moustache and summoning two surly-looking men to his side. He muttered an aside to Louis, "Let's move on a bit."

"Er, Adolf," said Louis, pointing to Hitler's moustache, "you've got some...um...ice cream."

"No distractions, Louis," said Hitler, tossing his cornet aside, "listen to me. It's important for you, for your country and your memory of Gampy Jaggs. Before and after the war Europeans lived in poverty but in Germany in 1918, we were desperate. Do you understand? Can you even begin to imagine what it was like for us, the country had been betrayed by the Jews...."

"The stab in the back," said Louis. Reluctant to throw his ice cream away he was trying to eat it without being seen. He muttered through a mouthful, "You made that up to cover your embarrassment at Germany's defeat."

"Not at all!" snapped Hitler, "World Jewry had contrived to defeat Germany so they could steal Palestine with British help and what of us, their victims? Our industries robbed of their produce, our mines confiscated, our land reduced, our empire given away to the British and French, our army reduced to 100,000 men whilst our enemies maintained forces in the millions right on our borders. Our navy was scuttled, we had no air force, we were weak and vulnerable to attack and the constant economic bullying of the old allies..."

"Er... .ice cream," said Louis, pointing under his own nose to demonstrate the position.

"The French invaded the Rhineland and stole our coal in 1923, the Poles were looking at stealing more land from us, the Czechs were pushing us around, everyone was taking what they wanted. We had an impossible national debt, that could never be repaid in a single lifetime... and we did not start the war. Do you understand our frustration, Louis?"

"Cakes for sale!" A woman was standing in front of them, a tray of cakes held out in offering.

"Ah! Cakes," said Hitler excitedly, "Ja! For me and for my good friend, Louis."

"Er..we're not, we're not...friends," said Louis, waving his hands.

"Cream buns," said Hitler, eyes crinkling at the thought, "ja, two. Put them on my tab."

He took a huge bite and the cream spurted out. "Germany was on her knees, Louis," he said, his cheeks stuffed full, "then recession hit and even more Germans were thrown out of work."

"It was the same for other countries, though," said Louis, staring at his own cake, wondering how to eat it without cream popping out from all sides.

"People were dying of starvation. Tens of thousands of German men committed suicide because they could not provide for their families, housewives became prostitutes. Our society crumbled, while rich Jews and American bankers were making a fortune out of our distress."

"I get the picture, you were suffering," said Louis, entranced by the blob of cream on Hitler's nose, not wanting to draw attention to it for fear of annoying the man.

"It all came about because of the Jewish banking system, Louis," said Hitler, "do you see?"

Louis decided to lick the cream out of the cake first, that way he could control how much cream came out when he bit into it.

"NO!" shouted Hitler. Louis jumped, almost dropping his cake. "No, Louis, not like that. Bite into it, enjoy the whole experience. This licking, it separates the tastes, you get no blend."

"But...urm...er" stammered Louis, "I'll get cream on my...er...nose."

"No matter your nose, how will you ever know the full pleasure if you lick out the cream?"

"Bite into it, boy," thundered Gampy Jags appearing from nowhere, "obey the Führer."

Louis did as he was bid and got cream on his nose.

"It tastes better, ja?" He didn't wait for an answer, instead returning to the subject in earnest, "Germany was destitute, trapped between two ideologies; Judeo-capitalism was robbing the country blind and the Russian Communists crushing us beneath a common uniformity."

Louis, was still struggling with his cake, "Where did I put my 99? I can't remember eating it!"

Hitler continued undeterred, "My aim was to free my people from the Jewish economic yoke, and drive out the Bolsheviks from Berlin. That was my aim Louis, my only aim."

"You wanted to conquer the world."

"That was the accusation the Jews put into Mr. Churchill's mouth. They didn't want to lose their power, their control of all of the key posts and jobs, all the money. Ordinary Germans had been ruined by the war and the recession. Only the Vons and Jews came out on top."

"Why didn't you wage war on the Vons then?"

Hitler looked affronted, said, "They were German, Louis. I believed they would put Germany before their own self interests. All I wanted was to bring Germany back to her former glory."

"How does that fit with invading Czechoslovakia and Poland?" demanded Louis.

"Again they have obscured the truth; the Poles had a plan to invade Prussia as far as Berlin and all we had to protect ourselves was a pitiful army of 100,000 men."

"But you invaded Poland," said Louis, wiping the cream from his nose.

"They were killing Germans, we had daily reports of new casualties, the Poles were goading us into war. I had no choice, was I to let the Poles go on murdering Germans? Would Mr. Chamberlain have let any foreign power murder Englishmen without reprisal? I think not."

"Well, that's as maybe," said Louis, "but you resorted to war instead of negotiation."

"I had tried to negotiate, but as soon as Rydz-Śmigly got Mr. Chamberlain's ridiculous treaty he would not listen. Who can blame him? If I had had such a commitment from the British Prime Minister then I too would've tried to win the world."

"I need the toilet," said Louis, crossing his legs awkwardly.

"Answer me this, at the turn of the twentieth Century Europe was wholly Christian and followed the word of Jesus, ja?"

Louis nodded, "I really need to go now."

"And now very few Europeans follow Christ, is that true?"

Louis scrunched up his face. It seemed important not to let go of his bladder at this point.

"But a lot of people still believe in God, is that not right?" pressed Hitler.

"So?"

"Jews do not believe in Christ, Louis," said Hitler, "they have killed European Christianity but left God as the supreme power. Ergo, they have killed Christ a second time."

Louis awoke with a start, extricated himself from his duvet, tumbled out of bed and rushed to the toilet, 'Fuckin' 'ell,' he thought, 'I've gotta lay off the Hitler stuff....."

Cheers

Arun